How do you teach your children personal responsibility? I'm at a complete loss with my 7 year old. She keeps losing clothes, water bottles, jackets, etc. We've tried taking it out of her piggy bank and explaining to her that she now has to buy any replacements but it still doesn't get through to her.

This is normal behavior for a 7 yr old - punishing for losing things is not going to resonate with her. Label everything with her name and have her check lost and found regularly at school. Looking for something you lost is a normal expectation of a 7 yr old, with reminders from parents. Trying to create financial impacts is not something she will understand right now.

I was like this growing up. I just couldn’t help it and I see it in my son, too. Turns out I had/have raging ADHD (inattentive type), which is very often overlooked in girls, especially smart ones. Does your child have other signs of ADHD? Easily distracted, appearing disorganized, lots to say but bad at listening, shifting focus from one thing to another, hyper-focusing etc? Might be worth considering that there may be something else going on.

My daughter is 16 and it’s still something we’re working on. It’s a long learning curve I expect will continue into her adulthood. 7 is very young for someone to have a firm grasp on personal responsibility especially when it comes to personal financial responsibility.

You’re doing this with a…seven year old? What tools have you used to teach executive functioning or have you just gone to punishments?

Things to try: a bright tag on her belongings “take me home” (change color once a week for novelty), a sign in her cubby with a “checklist” or a laminated backpack tag with the same, roleplaying at home how to pack up, asking her to buddy up with a friend at school to make sire they have their belongings.

I don’t send the item the next day and ask my 7yo to check the lost and found. They often find their water bottle but we’ve definitely lost several along the way.

We send as little as possible - my 7 year old is also a bit scatter brained. Living in southern CA makes this possible. When he lost his nice water bottle I just started giving him plastic ones to use. Label everything and always do a lost & found search - we’ve found most items within the week.

My brother was like this growing up. He is 40 now and still is like this, he had and still has ADHD. I'm not suggesting your kid has it just because she's losing things but if there are other things you're concerned about it's worth reaching out for evaluation. We grew up in a country where ADHD was routinely dismissed and my brother went through some very bad periods bc it was untreated. Best of luck!

Completely agree with the comments about ADHD. Did you know that 90% of the smartest people (top 10% of highest IQ) have ADHD. My child, who is now a young adult getting her doctorate at an Ivy League, frequently lost/misplaced items. We labeled everything & would question her upon pick up if she had…