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I don't think there's anything wrong with checking an email to make sure it's polite and professional. But I wouldn't worry for five seconds about softening something. When I have something to say I'm going to be businesslike about it. And I'm communicating with another professional. It's not like I'm talking to my four-year niece. Trying to soften business communication just strikes me as a bad idea.

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Same here. I used to reread everything five times just to make sure I didn’t sound “mean.” Lately I’ve been experimenting with just being direct—and guess what? No one cared. Half the time people appreciate the clarity.

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It’s taken a lot of work to teach my team they wouldn’t expect my (male) boss to “soften” emails. I am not rude, just to the point. They laugh about it now but it was a long road. I like to be a part of equality for women and encourage all women to do the same however, be ready to have the difficult conversations.

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