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I have the same issue with my 10yo 😞 I’m dreading the teen years
Each of mine was different. Give yourself some grace- they know you well and can push just the right buttons. At my best, I am able to walk away and come back when things are calmer. “Needing” to walk the dogs still helps give space to arguments. We also set very firm boundaries with consequences for crossing. I was the strict mom of their friend group but my kids thank me for it now.
Don't try to control them, try to teach them through words, actions, and consequences.