I went out on a date last night and fully expected to go Dutch with the man I was seeing, but he didn't flinch when the check arrived. Is this because I asked him out? I haven't been in the dating scene for years now so this is feeling completely new to me. He also happened to mention he was unemployed and he obviously knows I'm doing well for myself .... can't tell if I was being taken advantage of. Is it just me who thinks it's weird that he didn't talk about how dinner was getting paid?

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I think it's weird as well. Almost like he was just trying to freeload a good dinner during his unemployed days. Are you planning to meet him again? If yes, I'd shoot him a text about it to understand what was going through his mind.

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Did he pay his share?

Sounds like a bum. A good date would go out of their way to pay, to prove they’re not freeloading after mentioning they’re unemployed.

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Run as fast as possible in the other direction and thank your lucky stars he showed his cards on the first date!

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even unemployed men pay on the first date if they want to see u again

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It doesn’t hurt to ask how dinner, lunch, etc. will be paid before your dates so there is no misunderstanding. If you want to go Dutch, say so before so you’re both in agreement.

He could have offered to pay or atleast his part .
Question is how much do you like him to continue now that you set this precedence

It is awkward that he didn’t pay half. Very very weird. I wouldn’t even go out again to be honest - we give men way too many chances and what could his excuse possibly be? Unemployed but not covering his half is weird.

Also, this behavior goes further because in general it shows lack of thought for you. While I’m a feminist, I think men should always at least pay half- or offer to. As a woman, I always offered to pay half.

Sounds like a catch, throw him back. I would feel exactly the same way. Being unemployed is one thing, poor manners or entitlement is a huge red flag!

Am I reading your post right that you were the one who asked him out? Were you also the one who picked the place? If yes, and he knows you know he is unemployed, and you still asked him out he assumed you like him enough to take care of him. Unfortunately I don’t think he likes you back enough to try and make an impression on you, but he is willing to give you his company if you take care of things…

If I invite someone out, for anything (friend or romantic partner), I pay. Perhaps that is his philosophy also - you asked, so you pay.

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