I’m a 23 y/o woman leading brand content, and our agency has been condescending and dismissive of my feedback. They've even twisted things to make issues feel like my fault. How do you professionally reset the tone when you feel disrespected but still have to work together?

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I’m also a young woman in a leadership role and when people are condescending or belittling to me, I just pretend like I don’t hear it. Or I ask them to repeat it so they have to double down on their condescension. But mostly, I just ignore it.

likesmart

That’s good advice! Keeping my peace really is the priority. I guess the more I ignore it, the more I can stay focused on the work instead of the noise. Still learning when to speak up and when to let it go, but I appreciate this reminder.

I personally like to figure out why I'm being treated a certain way. Are they intimidated? Could my leadership skills improve? Am I being sensitive? Usually when I can pin-point why these things are happening, I can make whatever adjustments I feel are best and try a new approach.

likehelpful

That’s a good way to frame it. I’ve done some introspection too and realized the agency team is around my age, so maybe the disconnect is partly due to how we’re communicating. Email might be adding friction. I’m going to try scheduling more calls instead. And I do think I’m a little sensitive, but I also think that doesn’t make the dynamic okay.

Without knowing the details, or witnessing the interactions, it's impossible to say. But I would suggest just building up a thicker skin. Some workplace interactions are hard to deal with, and you just have to navigate through them as best you can. You always have to be open to the idea that some criticism you receive is warranted, and just learn what you can and bounce back.

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Heard. I figure if I want to grow as a leader I need to get used to criticism. Just learning how to filter what’s useful and what’s not.

Reset may start with your leadership. Hopefully, they have your back and aren’t the problem. I’m not a woman, but most of my staff are. When I hire anyone, I make it clear that they speak for me. When I review any of my staff’s work it’s always offline and privately. When the work is successful, I make sure they get the praise. When there’s an issue I will deal with it.

uplifting

That’s the kind of leadership I respect. Unfortunately I haven’t had that kind of backup. I’ve been the one expected to handle confrontation directly even when it’s not really my place. I’m learning a lot from it, but it can definitely be isolating.

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