Im fortunate to be marrying the most wonderful man who is self-made UHNW. We are both burnt out from our careers and want to start a family. He “retired” from his career and is offering me the opportunity to step away from mine to pursue whatever my heart desires (travel, build a company, family etc) — a dream. Only snag is I feel immense guilt at the thought of disappointing my mentors, mentees, and those who look up to me. I get some fulfillment from work. What would you do in this situation?

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Recover from burnout and then use your resources to explore your interests. You can always pick things back up.

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Cont…I also advocated for myself during our prenup negotiations, and he was supportive, so I truly can make any choice I want because I am well protected.

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Thank you. I think you’re right.

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What does advocating for yourself mean in this prenup?
Either way, take the exit. I mean that’s a dream to be financially independent.

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He made his money prior to the marriage, which put me in a more vulnerable position, so I took the lead on drafting the prenup. I turned down the standard prenup agreements (e.g., spousal support, asset acquisition through gifts, etc.) and insisted that the protections represent our growth together, loss of my future earning potential that may be incurred, and the value I bring to the marriage and family.

The reality is, we both worked our tails off in similar jobs, but he made more. I am passionate about balance and maintaining a relationship of mutual respect, partnership, and independence — that’s how we fell in love— vs. placing myself in a financially vulnerable position by being dependent.

I may be the outlier but I’d continue working. I wouldn’t work a job that burns me out, but I would find an occupation to have my own income and be able to support myself if needed. Maybe start my own business, get a non profit job, whatever made me more fulfilled and satisfied. But I’d have my own income. I’ve been unemployed in the past and my husband supported me 100%, but I did not feel secure or confident in myself while I depended on him financially. And you never know what will happen in the future- you may feel better if you have your own income, even if it’s just an emergency fund.

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