I’m in early stages of dating and the guy has shown no problem paying on dates, has never pressured me, but I make much more than him and would like to start splitting, esp if we become a couple. Ladies, at what point in your relationship did you start splitting? And how important was it to keep it exactly 50-50?

Personally, I make more than my bf & don’t split the check. I’m more traditional and expect a man to provide. I get that I may make more than him atm, but I don’t want to emasculate him.

Despite a difference in pay, he may enjoy treating you in the early days and can definitely be a conversation once you are a bit more settled in the relationship/have made it official. One rule of thumb I have heard is that the one who invites pays, so if he selects a restaurant that he wants to take you to he pays vs if you select one you pay (and can also be a fun way to pick restaurants/activities for eachother). When I was dating my husband, he usually paid when we went out but I got groceries when we cooked together, it may not have been totally equal but can be another way to contribute.

I don’t split on dates even though I almost always make more. I married and divorced a man who insisted on money being tit for tat, and I learned the hard way that a man who is counting pennies with you is never going to value the non-monetary things you bring to the table.

A man who cannot afford to treat you to dinner cannot afford to date. And if he treats you like you owe him for something because he bought you dinner, he’s doing you a favor by showing you his true colors.

I’ve mostly split right dates right away, personally. Or if he insists on paying, I’ll try to do something like - he bought the movie tickets so I bought the snacks. Or if he generally pays, I’ll try to jump in early when the bill arrives and say something like, “Let me get this one!” I’ve never really kept track, but have just let it naturally be sometimes we split the check, sometimes he buys something and I buy something else, etc. Not necessarily 50/50 but both contributing. If for example, you want to go to a very expensive restaurant, then I’d suggest offering to pick it up or split it since you made the suggestion. I guess my advice is, don’t overthink it. 😊

My now-husband and I would go back and forth as to who paid each date pretty quickly after we started dating - it worked well because there was no need to try to calculate who owed what, etc. It was just “You paid last time, I’ll get it this time.”

Bro why. Like literally why

Every relationship is different and you can see the various values people have in the comments. If you would like to start splitting or treat him to a date every now and then, figure out what you’re comfortable with and have a conversation with him about it. My bf and I don’t really keep track now. In the early stages I think I would generally offer to pay for the 3rd or 4th date depending on what it was and who planned it. For example, I might make dinner, buy tickets for a show, plan a wine tasting, etc. for that date.