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I can relate! While my marriage is failing, I try to focus on raising my sons to be better.
I make all the money and my husband has responsibility for the lawn and pool plus taking our daughter to school. He needs a clearly defined list of responsibilities or nothing gets done. Unfortunately, men for the most part need to be told how to contribute to a household. Not all men, but most that I know.
THIS!
Get a house manager. It’s the only way.
Why does he have fun money if he’s not pulling his weight
The weaponized incompetence resulting in the things everyone on this thread is posting is insane. Sometimes I think divorce and move in with another mom would be the best answer.
Divorce. Not a joke.
Divorce 💯. My life became much easier after the divorce. I tried for years, should’ve cut my losses sooner.
This is insane. You both need to read Fair Play, come up with your own lists of household/family tasks you each do, and reallocate. Two adults are perfectly capable of performing the same household tasks. The only Fair Play concept that we don’t follow is that we will divide certain tasks - my husband will gather/wash/dry our laundry but I fold it and put it away, for example; or, he feeds/walks/medicates our dog every day but I manage buying food and making vet appointments.
This is why I don’t think I could ever have settled down with someone who makes less than me. My husband makes more than me but I already get pissed seeing him sitting down watching football when I’m running around trying to get our kid down for bed and come get our dinner on the table.
Same. He asks for reminders, but then calls it nagging. We did couples therapy a few years ago and the therapist call him out on that which has helped!
My husband lost his job and I pushed him to take on all shopping and food prep. When he got another job, he kept those tasks and it’s been a game changer for me.
Yeah forget Fair Play. Y’all need to wake up and read Zawn Villines’ Liberating Motherhood Substack.
Giving choices like I do with my toddler. If I’m not relaxing neither is he. He can choose chore 1 or 2. It doesn’t help the mental load but raises awareness.