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What makes a gift thoughtful and "it's the thought that counts" really aren't related. The former comes from someone paying attention to what you need/want over time and finding something that's just the right thing for you. The idea that it's the thought that counts is simply, regardless of whether you like the gift or not, it was kind of the gift giver to think of you and spend time and money on you.
I'm not a dumb person, but I'm short circuiting trying to understand how "thought that counts" doesn't equate to thoughtful.
It's been a big heated discussion over here, so truly interested in understanding.
Hmm I honestly think that depends on the person. For my sister, she got really into cooking lately. I bought her this set of cookbooks that is really pretty and I wrote all my favorite recipes in the book for her. I know that she will really love it because she is into cooking right now
this ^
To me, a good gift is something that's thoughtful in the sense that the person will love it, but it's also something they wouldn't think to get for themselves. If you follow that thinking, gift shopping can be quite pleasurable, as your affection for the recipient will be guiding you. And, of course, the person will likely be delighted with the gift.