Mothers - how many weeks can you pull 65-70+ billable hour weeks? Feeling like this isn’t aligning with my values as a mom and wondering if I’m just soft. I haven’t seen my kid all week

55 billable hours per week is my max outside of a trial or arbitration. Beyond that, I'm not adding any value, and that's simply due to the limitations of my own human body, not my kids.

Forget about soft. Stop comparing yourself to others. Figure out what works for you. I’m quitting BL soon even without kids bc I don’t want to live like this, and life is too short to care about measuring up to others.

Also, I think it’s bad to not see your kid all week and that has real ramifications as they grow up. Speaking as someone who grew up with chronically absent parents.

You are not soft. You are a mom and your concern is very valid. Maybe find a position with less billable hours?

To each their own, but for me there was an important shift in perspective when I realized that my husband and my kids don't care if I make equity partner at a big law firm or what kind of cases I work on. They care that I'm there at dinner and can pick them up and drop them off sometimes at activities and hear about their day without splitting my attention between them and emails or being so stressed all the time about billables that I'm never any fun. I can be replaced within days at a law firm. There is no replacement for me at home. (This also came with learning more about equity partnership structure at the firm I was in, and it wasn't looking all that green on that side of the fence.)

All that to say, do what works for you, and don't buy into the lie that prioritizing your family makes you a bad employee/lawyer or in any way diminishes your value.

That's a crazy amount of hours for someone without a family. Or a dog. Even a cat. I hope there is an end in sight for you.

Um I’ve never done more than a 50 billable hour week even before kids, nor would I ever want to.

Ummm I max out at about 40 ish normally, mayyyybe 50 if it's an exceptional week

Humans weren’t meant to spend this much time in front of computers by themselves. You are far from soft, you sound like a badass who works very hard. But if you try to maintain that intensity for a prolonged period, this will likely affect your kids, your relationship with them, and your physical and mental health. It’s a shitty profession and most often bosses don’t care if you’re a parent or have any other responsibilities outside of work. I hope you find a role where you can find the right balance for yourself or at least negotiate a better environment at your current workplace.
Also hope we can stop questioning our work ethic bcz of toxic employers. Most of us aren’t in the profession cuz we are lazy.

I’m pregnant right now and just had a 230+ month this May. There’s basically zero shot I could do that with a child.

I’ve only EVER done at when I’m away at trial. And while I don’t like being away, it’s easier to focus and I feel less guilty than working a ton when I’m actually home. When I’m home, I max out around 50. And even that leaves me feeling like a pretty shitty mom and wife at the end of the week.

Yeah at this point it’s really hard for me to do any more than 45/week with a two year old. You are definitely not soft!

55 hour weeks feel like I’ve been hit by a freight train. Answer to your question is — maybe once or twice a year. Not more.

One or two. Honestly, you shouldn’t do this because it’s physically and mentally unhealthy. But a few weeks of this a year are totally fine for your kid. Assuming they have another parent and they’re not like, living in a ditch somewhere without food, they will be absolutely fine. Please don’t feel guilty about this if you’re doing your best.

I worked these hours (probably about 60-65 billable most weeks, but also lots of travel and uncaptured time being distracted by phone emails) for about two years after my first was born. I was junior and—similar to your concern about being soft—I wanted to prove I could “cut it” even with a baby.

FWIW, even though I got lots of good professional experience, I didn’t really get to know my child during those years and would take a mulligan if it were possible. For me personally, I couldn’t be present in a way that allowed me to be the type of parent I wanted to be while working those hours. It also left me with zero time whatsoever for myself and exhausted and burned out on that front as well.

To answer your actual question, a few weeks here and there isn’t going to hurt your kid. But if it’s the norm, I personally don’t think it’s worth it, and there are definitely jobs out there that don’t require that level of sacrifice.

F

I max out at 45 hours now (have a one year old), but more normally aim for 40. Maybe if I know there is an urgent deal that’s pressing, and I arrange for childcare on a weekend day, I could go up to 50 but that is exceedingly rare. I still intend to hit my billables of 1950 but just try to stay consistent if I can- pre-kiddo I felt like I could hit 2000ish with no issues (and had years where I was at 2300 but that was too much for m).

I bill about 50- 70 hours a week depending on the week with one kid. It’s one way to get burnt out quickly.