My work friend's upset that I no longer want to have lunch with her every day. I need that hour to myself for personal stuff, like running errands or paying bills. I barely eat anyway, so it often ends up just listening to her vent. I value her friendship, but my lunch break is my only personal time. She seemed so disappointed today when I turned her down. What's the best way to stay on good terms with her?

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Have you explained to her that you need a few days a week to have lunch alone? I would just explain what you just told us and ask if it's okay if you have 2-3 days alone and then you guys can keep getting lunch on the other days. I'm sure she'll understand even if she's bummed!

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Just tell her that you need to use your lunchtime constructively sometimes. Or, maybe frame it differently. Say you have boring things to do most days, so you want to set aside a day or two each week for lunch with her. Make it sound like lunch with her will be a special day, that might go over better.

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Maybe you could try going out with her once every other week or so? No reason to have to cut her off completely, especially if you still value that relationship. That's what I do: I don't go out all the time but I try to go out occasionally with my colleagues.

Just be open and honest with her. Tell her that you're trying to save money and also need that hour to get caught up on personal tasks. If she's really a friend, she'll understand it has nothing to do with her and won't hold it against you.

I would just say that, point blank period. Anyone who is your real friend is going to be understanding that you just need that hour to yourself. I am the exact same way. I want my lunch break to disassociate and not have to talk to anyone.

Tell her the truth. You need the time for exactly what you said. Also side note but she needs a therapist.

OP, how’s it going?

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