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Get to know them as people.
Be genuinely curious about their goals, get a good head on their strengths, and then actively work with them to align work/find opportunities to support their growth and development.
Be direct but kind with feedback. Don’t sandwich critical feedback between praise.
Give praise and recognition when it’s deserved- even if it isn’t a massive achievement (on paper). Sometimes people work really hard to overcome an anxiety/challenge that is small
Potatoes for others. Let them know you see their progress and celebrate it.
Set clear expectations for communication and ways of working. Be as transparent as you can about why (especially with the newer/more junior folks who are still figuring out how to work and be professional).
If someone is not performing and they don’t respond fairly quickly to direct feedback, don’t give them endless chances. People who always have a life calamity that gets in the way of work, can’t figure out how to consistently follow basic instructions, need a lot of handholding ALL the time, are constantly trying to offload or pawn the hard parts of their work onto you or others… they will suck the life out of you, pull your energy away from everyone else, and tank team morale. Move them on as quickly as possible once you fail to see improvement.
Document everything consistently. Have agendas/notes/ summaries for 1:1s- a share version and a you version. This will save your ass if you need to PIP someone or make a case for moving them out. I use a spreadsheet for my own records that notes the topic, feedback given, next steps discussed, follow up actions taken, notes about specific documents/emails/dates of chats that are relevant. Most of my team have a tiny handful of issues that are documented (because they act on the feedback and improve). But my current problem person has dozens of issues that we are tracking and documenting, which will ultimately result in a PIP/HR process of some sort. Being proactive about this has saved me so much time, energy, and second guessing myself.
Find a mentor you can trust.
Talk to your friends outside of work who also manage teams when you need to vent. They will likely have good advice and you don’t risk disclosing something to someone at work that shouldn’t be discussed. But some things are SO annoying that you have to talk it through using the words you really want to use. Friends are good for maintaining sanity.
I genuinely care about each person on my team. I want to see them shine, grow, and feel successful. If I’m good at my job, their skills and resume will kick so much ass that they get promoted or land an incredible role that sparks their passion somewhere else. And we work toward those goals intentionally and transparently.
My manager does this now. He doesn’t micromanage. I just we had more team collaboration and group discussions.
Coach
When it comes to exclamation points, less is more. Listen first, react second.