Seeking advice. I work closely with someone who takes every opportunity to talk or share about her kids. I don't like feeling held hostage as she goes on about her kids. I have no problem with occasional small talk about family, but this person regularly describes diaper blow outs, tantrums, and every minute milestone. She can't start a meeting without a story. It's often disruptive and takes up the time I want to focus on work. Is there a way I can approach this respectfully? Or am I trapped?

Good grief - people like this just drain the life out of me. Is this person more senior than you? If not, it may be easier to reign some of this in. At the start of each meeting when she starts rambling, can you nicely interrupt and say we have a lot to cover in a short amount of time so we need to get started. If she starts talking in the hall or comes to your desk, be nice but firm and say sorry I have to get on a call and walk away. Or, when she starts describing the latest diaper blow-out (I mean, really?!), maybe say speaking of blow-outs boy did I clog up the toilet this morning!!! Kidding, sort of!
There is a guy in my office who does this. We never even worked together, just sat near each other for awhile and he decided to tell me all about his kids, mother in law, the cat, on and on. This happened everyday and in the halls etc. So I now avoid him and just say sorry I gotta run (with a smile) whenever I see him.

If you have elderly parents or grandparents, just start making shit up about watching them get a hemorrhoid banded at the doctor’s office in great detail. Or talk about their diaper blow outs. It’s far less palatable when it’s adults pooping their pants.

All the passive aggression in here lmao. I would go to her manager and tell them about it and ask if they can bring it up to them. That way her direct boss can be like, “so it has been brought to my attention that people would prefer you reduce the amount of non-work related conversation in meetings.” This could be something she can work on and be more mindful of in the future. If you are up for it I would directly say something to her and say hey I can see your child is very important to you but I’m concerned conversations about it are taking up too much time in our work day. Can we focus more on work related conversations and tasks and keep the stories of your children to a minimum?

Whatever you do, be kind to someone like this. Most of the time people like this just need friends.

When you get older, you learn that caring about the people and what is important to them is the real work. She’s giving you an opportunity to make a connection and build a relationship, and you’re focused on — what exactly? A PowerPoint presentation? Some code? If you take some time to build the relationship first, over time, all of the other stuff gets done easier, faster, and with more meaningful results. Then you come out of the experience with something of greater value than a stack of wireframes you’ll never look at again. That person might connect you to a job, a business opportunity, a spouse, a friend, a new great place for lunch? Who knows? But you have to value the person over the spreadsheet first.

You could always try to gently steer the convo based on time. No one has to know you don’t really have another call right after.

Ask her if she has ANY other hobby or interests other than her damn kids

Tell her you can’t have kids. Maybe that means can’t because you don’t want to but it may just make her realize not everyone feels the exact same way about having children.

Ooh, love the pet story option! Or a family story that involves a baby cousin or family friend with kids, or just make something up!

This is great because it allows you to commiserate, sort of, if you have pets and no kids, or have other kid-related experience.

Try:
Oh my gosh, something similar happened to me…
That reminds me when…
I totally get it, my cousin’s baby…

Adding your story to the mix should be a bit of a wake up call that not everyone has children. Some people have pets and experiences are different, but you can relate and connect.

Chiming in also gives you the floor for a moment and you can then divert at some point to what’s on the docket for the work at hand.

It’ll become super awkward for this person to return to their personal stories once there’s a transition to the work.

So take the control, but in a way that carries on the conversation 😊 and allows the transition.

Couldn’t hurt to try!

Everyone thank you for the advice! I spoke with her one on one and now HR has reached out to me. I was kind, I didn't criticize her at all, I am at a loss for words. I guess the real solution should have been to stay quiet.

Have you thought about sharing details about your life that would make them uncomfortable? That could work