So I am paired with a co-teacher who undermines me all the time. I'm a veteran teacher and the other person is on year 2. Inappropriate comments, letting the kids do whatever they want against my directives, it's starting to affect my physical and emotional health. Anyone relate? I know what I have to do but this is very uncomfortable . 😳

I understand your frustration. Co-teaching isn’t any an easy assignment. I would encourage you to set an appointment to meet with your administrator and discuss boundaries and working agreements with your co-teacher. The students are the one’s suffering. They notice everything. Hold fast to your expectations and establish norms in the classroom.
Also, look forward to next school year and request another co-teacher.

I can totally. Some of my worst experiences in teaching have been co teaching. Everything will turn out fine. Document everything and report it.

Let me be clear; NO person, newbie or not, should be making you uncomfortable. Three years ago a first year teacher destroyed our team; the science teacher left after I returned from a COVID absence; the math teacher would weep in the hallway because newbie would tell him how to run his class. MY punishment was a subtle attempt to get my first period to mutiny because I stuck to the rules and refused to do what SHE wanted. My clap back was NOT subtle, and I continued teaching and maintaining law and order. Soon, she lost control and spent most of the day yelling or complaining about how they behaved for ME but not for HER whenever our team moved through the hallways. She even went so far as to bait students into misbehaving, but they KNEW better, and I didn’t have a problem telling her to leave them alone. When administrators asked me to intervene with the students on her behalf, I refused and didn’t have a problem telling them WHY.
Do NOT allow ANYONE to make you feel uncomfortable. Next time your nemesis makes an inappropriate comment, CORRECT HER ON THE SPOT. She will get the message unless she is dense.

I can't imagine undermining a veteran teacher like that. Where's the respect? I imagine the emotional toll is real. You know your stuff, and someone newer should respect that. I’m rooting for you as you take the next steps.

Pull your seniority card, explain through your experience, and put your foot down. Explain to them when they teach solo they can do as they wish.

I take it you’ve tried talking to your co-teacher yourself and gotten nowhere? I guess I was lucky, I got to pick my co-teacher, and we get along well. However, most co-taught classes at my school don’t work nearly as well as they should, with co teachers getting pulled out and IEPs going unsupported.

So, Master Teacher, the 2 year teacher says,I have no idea what I am doing. What I do know how to do is manipulate a crowd to do my will.1.Have some fun with it.Put kids on different teams.2. Let them give their teams a name.Ex. Comets or Rockets 3.Assign campus & classroom rules to be followed.4.Say, if you don’t abide by the rules 20 pts. will be deducted each time a rule is broken.Ignoring me & the rules hurts the team.Play academic games to add points.Ex.Reviewing spelling words or times tables. Winning team gets a 100 pts. Per team member.End of week reward winning team however you want.Ex. Pizza or toy or candy from gift bag.On Monday start over with each team getting 1000 pts. To start the week.This cancels her altogether cus she will be hurting the team with her foolishness. They will look at each other and say, NOT TODAY?!?!

I’m sorry. It’s so hard to let it play out as you know it will. Their character will become obvious over time and they will lose any and all respect from the students and their peers. But in the meantime your reputation takes a hit.

I encourage you to “go high while they go low” for as long as you can. My best wishes to you. The good leaders will see your skill and appreciate what you are doing. The only ones who fall for this are the weak and unskilled, but most of them will come around as this kind of cheap pandering shows itself to be hollow.

I will disagree with some here who are encouraging getting an admin to intervene. If you need someone else to step in, then you are going to not have as strong a payoff for what you will learn and grow otherwise through this experience. It also means that it will be that much harder to reach the point with your collegue of being the person that can help them. If you go to the admin, then the admin is the potential mentor that you could be. But holding on and leading are both emotionally draining.

Sounds about right fresh out of college and think they know everything new teachers I know we need them but they could use a little humility. Sorry you have to go through this. I hope this situation is only for this year and you don’t have to continue in the next year.

This is just a thought, not sure of the dynamics going on, but I am wondering if she may not be sure who is supposed to be doing the correcting of behavior or implementation of task? Is it clear who is responsible for stepping in to redirect misbehaviors and so forth? IF everyone is clear the expectations and procedures and who is responsible for certain tasks then I would definitely speak up sooner than later. This would be a difficult and challenging situation, annoying! You have every right to speak up, as a veteran teacher you know what you are doing.

Speak up

Also don't be completely afraid of a little self-reflection. Are there areas where you could compromise a little on classroom management or structure, without sacrificing anything but your own comfort. Some teachers are more firm others run a looser ship, both can be successful. Just because it works for you doesn't mean it works for everyone. Not accusing you of this but it can be equally hard for a new teacher Co-teaching with a "my way or the highway" veteran as the opposite.

My advice is to try and work it out with your co-teacher first before involving anyone else to avoid hurt feelings. Then if that doesn’t work, involve someone else.

Inform admin that you will not be co-teaching next year. She is probably co-teaching because she can not handle the class alone.

Is it possible that because you are a veteran, you are inflexible and it has to be your way or the highway? “So, I got paired with…” You used the word directives—what the hell? What adult gives another adult directives?
Mathematics is all about exploration and finding out different ways to do something—not commanding an empire.
For the rest of you saying new teachers should always be following veteran teachers, etc—evolve or die off cause we are seeing generations that ask why and just don’t parrot rote.

Usually it’s the other way around. The co-teacher is disrespecting you, trying to push you out. Are you close to retirement? I think it’s time you and your director have a chat.