Today at work, I was shooting the shit and said that Chappell Roan is my spirit animal. My coworker scoffed at me, complaining that I was culturally appropriating the ancient tribal belief in animalism. They/them said I should know better, and that to do so during Native American Heritage Month was particularly offensive.

Now, I’m not proud of this. But my impulses got the best of me. So I walked over, closed her laptop shut, and said “why dont you cry me a trail of tears.” (Contd. below)

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You should apologize. Just tell her you were triggered by what she said. Outwoke her.

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Where I work, we always say “assume positive intent.” This coworker should’ve assumed that you didn’t literally intend to trivialize Native Americans, but we live in a time where people are easily triggered, and sometimes for very valid reasons.

I would just apologize, say you know better, and also DO better. I mean, cry me a trail of tears is funny AF in the right context, but this wasn’t it.

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“Why dont you cry me a trail of tears, Lizzy.”

I’m feeling guilty and paranoid. I think she might have told HR that I’m racist towards Indians (I voted no on DAPL, have friends with Chumash ancestry, and have always been open to alternative medicine)

What should I do? Any advice is appreciated as I’m a bit older than my coworkers and have never been in a situation like this.

Out of curiosity, what did you mean by "They/them said"? I'm guessing this coworker is trans or non-binary or something, but you're already showing some disrespect or bias by possibly mocking their choice of pronouns...it's either "they" OR "them" depending on whether the pronoun is the subject or object in a sentence, so you should've written "They said."

You've mentioned that you're a bit older than your coworkers, so it tracks that maybe you feel ostracized or otherwise uncomfortable with today's office culture. My only advice to you would be to apologize and promise to do better.

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