What do you tell yourselves to make it through extra stressful phases at work? I’ve been in my job for a bit over a year and work life balance has pretty good but the last two months have been hell. I feel like whenever this happens, I get tunnel vision and forget that this is a phase to work through. I get discouraged and start to dislike the job and fall further behind. I feel like I just don’t work through these times well if that makes sense. I see other attorneys powering through crazy time

I felt like I was reading a description of what I’ve been dealing with. You’re not alone and it can be hell. I had the exact same experience where the first year of my job was great, then everything went off the rails and I was coming home at 9 pm, ordering the same takeout meal every single night, and eating alone in the dark. My health suffered greatly and my mental health was nonexistent. I’m not sure what advice I can offer but just know you’re not alone and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. I would say maybe try to find one thing or moment each day to “enjoy” something or at least go through the motions of doing something you enjoy. For me it was going for a long walk when I could and listening to a lot of Alice In Chains and Mad Season

I think about the hours cushion I'm racking up and start planning a vacation for what looks like a good window

“I do enough. I have enough. I am enough.”
“The only way out is through.”
“I don’t have to like it, I just have to do it.”

I use box breathing and MEDS (meditation, exercise, diet, and sleep). When I stick to, which I’ll admit takes discipline, I feel in control of my brain and body. It helps tremendously, because I have come to realize the only control I have is the way I respond (not react) to what’s happening around me. This was a game changer for me.

Also, I really focused on what I take in (media, social included) and the company I keep. My circle of influence changed when I put this into practice and I started to become more successful in my career and had healthier relationships.

As someone who has struggled with the legal overwhelm in varying degrees for 20 years now this is my best advice:
1. If you are a new associate, learn to manage this now because it doesn't get easier. It's not just a matter of time management, but also a mindset that requires you to make a commitment to yourself that you will not compromise your health for this profession. Your health and sanity will only remain intact if you deliberately choose that for yourself. Otherwise this profession can and will take everything from you if you let it. (Time management help from Cal Newport is excellent).

2. ASK FOR HELP/GUIDANCE. When I was a new associate I rarely asked for help or guidance with my work because I didn't want to appear stupid. I can say with confidence that this is by far the worst thing I ever could have done. I spent so many hours toiling trying to figure things out on my own and falling further and further behind because I was afraid to ask for help. The stress is NOT worth it. If your higher ups are not approachable with questions, and there are no other associates, paralegals or other support staff that can help you move your work forward, it's time to look for another firm.

3. Learn to prioritize your health. Doing so in small ways can make a big difference in the long run. This is easier said than done when you have 8,000 things looming. But when I look back 20 years at all the times I skipped taking a walk, a run, going to the gym, or skipped sleep to get the work done, I can tell you IT DIDN'T HELP ANYTHING in the long run. The work didn't move much faster and my health suffered. Unless you have a very specific deadline for a filing which of course is part of the job, the rest of the time to must carve out time for yourself. Do not disregard even just a 15 minute walk at lunch, or any time of day really. Find a good 10 minute stretch video on YouTube. Start your day with it. Try to eat whole foods 80% of the time. Don't lose sight of the big picture - the career is important, but it's not everything.

Wishing you the best.

“I signed up for this sh*t, now act like it.”

I started applying for other jobs, talking to recruiters and interviewing. Even though I didn’t ultimately end up taking a job I was offered, being engaged in the process helped me care a *little* less at work and helped me feel that I am in control

I think back to the things that kept me balanced and grounded in law school. For me that was prioritizing time with my husband and reading some fluff fiction on the weekend. You probably had little things that worked for you. If you’re finding difficulties in slotting them into your day - say going for a run was your thing, but you don’t want to do so in the dark - then remind yourself this is the only way you make it through this marathon of work long-term, and put down the work to fit your activity in your day.

Weed gummies to help me sleep (because if you don’t sleep, it only gets worse) and I remind myself that I’ve gone through crazy and stressful work situations before and it always works out and is fine in the end.

I plan a vacation so I have something to look forward to.

(cont) without losing themselves in the stress.

I practice mindfulness and just stay focused on the task at hand.

"I just have to make it through today," over and over again until I die.

Go to a high school reunion. I assure you, this helps. You chose a tough occupation for a reason. This is who you are. Plan vacation dates. Once per week spend time looking at fumes places to go. Actually do not look at your emails but once every few days when you are on vacation, and even then only to prepare a list of things to do when you return and to delete others. When you work late, unless an emergency arises or you are in trial and cannot get information out of your head, do not work on the weekends. These things help me. Others haveade good suggestions.

thank you all! these are all really great tips.