What’s the most inappropriate things that’s ever been said to you by a man in this profession?

After I announced my pregnancy, a partner asked if I valued my career…

Once a partner told me that if I was looking for the decisionmaker with a prospective client, to look for an older man.

This partner was progressive, and supported me in my career at every turn. He did not mean to diminish me. He just said the wrong thing, as we all do from time to time. This was one of those times that I took Justice Ginsburg’s advice, and decided to be a little bit deaf.

After I returned from Mat leave, asking how my holiday was

“Was it planned?” after announcing my pregnancy. Said in a tone of curiousity and not malice, but of course not acceptable.

A client (in front of a large group of men) asked me "So, how do you wipe your ass?" ...and generally pointed to my shmedium length nails.

“You’re physically gifted” during feedback in a national mock trial competition in law school in front of everyone.

When I was a law school extern, the 80+ year old name partner once sat in my office, showed me a picture of his young new girlfriend, and asked me for intimacy advise since I was “around her age”…

Senior partner ended almost every one of our regular interactions by asking “if” I was planning to take maternity leave. Felt like the Twilight Zone.

Partner told me women choose to become teachers because they can’t do anything else and get pregnant so they can have paid vacation time. He would also comment on other women’s appearance in front of me which was awkward.

It was something close to the order of “I’ve never seen you in these parts before.” This was said to me several years ago by opposing counsel while I was in court on a per diem matter. My response was “I’m new!!” And I just looked at him. I wanted to add some other words, however, because we were in the court hallway, I decided to let it go.

I had another lawyer - while in front of the court attorney in a court conference outside of chambers- remark on how annoyed he was that he had to confront us and we were women at that!! I was on the verge of making a comment but the court attorney shut him down real fast!

I’m glad that this has not happened to me that often. Most people I know understand that I try to be nice most times but I will not keep quiet if there’s something I deem pertinent to say!

First year associate, years ago. Asked to drop off documents for a partner where he was having dinner with a male client we’d met with earlier that day. Was then told to sit down and join them (as though they were discussing the client’s matter). Was asked about my love life (partner well aware serious long-term boyfriend overseas for military service), asked what it would take to get me to date client’s son, told the client found me attractive. They continued to eat and drink more and more, and the pressure re my romantic life became more persistent. They ordered dessert. Partner gets up to get second spoon from waiter to enable the client to try to spoon-feed me his dessert (I declined). I finally extracted myself and went home, narrowing avoided being groped in the process. Had already been through a workplace investigation in my job (a persistent groper) before law school so had appetite for reporting it.

As I appeared in court wearing a suit with my file, I was asked if I was the court reporter. I have been told by multiple people I don’t look like an attorney. So many other harassing comments by older male white attorneys. Was told my life was over when o too my boss I was pregnant. I could just keep going…

(1) CEO showed me a picture of a woman wearing pasties vaguely in the shape of our company logo. It was late in the evening with few people around.

(2) Awkward CFO felt like he needed to give me a compliment every time he asked for something. Unfortunately, instead of complementing me, he went on & on about what a lucky guy my husband was. The first time he said it was whatever. Twelve occurrences later, it felt grating and sexist. Imagine walking up to a male executive and loudly proclaiming that his wife was one lucky gal.

Partner told me his secretary would get more work done if she spent less time in the kitchen

In the first few years in my practice, in the 90s, i was asked “when are you going to sleep with me so you can have my clients when i retire?”

Once got introduced by a client with “she doesn’t look old enough to be a lawyer.” I admittedly do look young, but it felt very inappropriate to say

In law school, after telling my rank to a friend/peer (he was male, I am female) he said “I didn’t realize you actually studied and were smart, I thought you just dressed cute and were pretty.” 😅

Me as a very pale light haired undergrad file clerk -
Partner: “are you going anywhere for the holiday weekend?”
Me: “California”
Him: “are you going to the beach?”
Me: “yes”
Him: “are you going to wear a bikini?!”
Me: “😑 no I am wearing my swim burka, don’t want to get skin cancer!”

Explicitly telling me (on multiple occasions) that a partner at the firm wanted to sleep with me