What’s the most inappropriate things that’s ever been said to you by a man in this profession?

After I announced my pregnancy, a partner asked if I valued my career…

Once a partner told me that if I was looking for the decisionmaker with a prospective client, to look for an older man.

This partner was progressive, and supported me in my career at every turn. He did not mean to diminish me. He just said the wrong thing, as we all do from time to time. This was one of those times that I took Justice Ginsburg’s advice, and decided to be a little bit deaf.

When I was engaged, I told an interviewer my wedding date. He told me I would need to reschedule the wedding. I told him I was no longer interested in the firm if that was their attitude.

A series of interactions where a peer in my year tried to supervise me.

If you have another baby your career here is over (when, unbeknownst to him, I was six weeks pregnant). Took my maternity leave and found another job. He did me a favor.

These should be printed and published for the world to see

“You don’t look like a lawyer.” Said by a partner during a job interview. I didn’t get the job.

In the midst of my (66 year old) boss discussing his ex-wife potentially moving back in with him because she needs his money, he was complaining that it would impact his dating life…and that he was dating women in my age range (30s) who were also obviously into him for his money but were fun to be with because they were young…btw he is cheap, old and gross looking.

(1) Announced my pregnancy and he responded with “you got to work fast” (senior partner)

(2) “you have a great, athletic physique.” Said to me during an interview. The only thing he could see in my suit was my calves. (Managing partner of a v10 big law firm).

(3) just after getting engaged. Are you sure you want to be with him? I’m available. (From a senior partner).

1) when I told him an old friend of mine had died and I needed a day off to attend his funeral, he said “I mean it’s sad but when was the last time you even saw him?” And “I haven’t decided if you’re allowed to be sad or not”

2) he told me cheating is ok once you have kids

3) he wanted to get me an intern, but only an intern I hated so I could see how annoying I was constantly asking questions (I was a first-year working for a sole practitioner)

4) was certain that I would quit my job once I had a family

5) when I told him I was moving cities because my then boyfriend (now husband) got a great job offer he told me I should give him an ultimatum to propose before moving because “it’s all downhill for women after 29”

I could go on…

Male partner telling me “you have the same body type as my wife”

Back when I was a paralegal I got bangs, and a male partner asked me “why would you ever do that to your hair?” I was like “I think they look good,” and he replied “yikes. To each their own.”

How long do you have?

(1) Opposing counsel called me a “little b*tch with no mastery of the English language” and I needed a dictionary because he was going to use a big word I had clearly never heard before.

(2) Same opposing counsel told his client on the record that I was a liar… I didn’t lie about anything, I was just asking questions.

(3) Same opposing counsel on the record treated me like a child talking over me and saying he was going to “make” me start over until I got it right. It went on for half an hour. I brought a motion and got him sanctioned for his abusive behavior.

(4) Another opposing counsel asked me if I had kids. I was young and naive and answered the question. I told him I didn’t. He told me he was going to have a talk with my husband to “take care of me” and send him some little blue pills to get the job done — TWICE.

(5) Another opposing counsel shared an incredibly racist joke about my ethnicity and said he could say it because he was half-my ethnicity. (New flash: no, he could not.)

(6) I had another opposing counsel tell me I *had* to take his client’s deposition until midnight if necessary. My boss made me tell him I was pregnant and couldn’t do that. At the continued deposition, he invited himself to my baby’s circumcision after assuming I was having a boy. (I wasn’t. Either way, I wouldn’t be inviting some rude man I don’t like and don’t know to any event related to my baby)

(7) Another opposing counsel accused me of “torturing” his pregnant client by deposing her and making her sit through my questions. (She wasn’t sitting, she was lying in bed. I was just as pregnant.)

(8) my boss told me about how he told the only female partner to “rip her f***ing uterus out” after having two kids because “that sh*t is disgusting.”

(9) My boss talked about me in front of me, but not to me saying, “how f***ing stupid do you have to be.”

(10) when I quit because I couldn’t take it anymore, he blew me a kiss. 🤢

(11) At a court appearance, opposing counsel purposefully interrupted me repeatedly. Then called me after making an appearance in court and asked if I was the new legal assistant, paralegal, or associate. I get that a lot. I get asked if I’m a court reporter or interpreter.

I can keep going.

Male Partner: “Remind me, when’s your expiration date?” I had recently announced that I was pregnant.

“If you’ve got it, flaunt it” - a partner telling me that I should flirt with men to get clients 🫠

It’s the height of me too and I’m a second year associate sitting in a male partner’s office with another male counsel. We’re on a call with opposing counsel AND CLIENTS - partner starts the call saying “hi gentlemen” then corrects himself saying “and ladies (have to be inclusive these days with me too)” then counsel sitting next to me chimes in “haha ya, don’t worry, I won’t kiss your head or anything”.

Floored to this day.

Met a partner at a different firm one time and he said “wow you’re not going to have any problem with business development” insinuating that my looks will get me clients…which is gross on a number of levels.

I love you (he was married)

When I was interviewing at OCI an interviewer (partner) from a prestigious boutique firm noted that I probably wouldn’t be able to have a family because of work demands/travel and if I was ok with that. I was absolutely stunned.

Yikes to all of these