Any advice on politely shutting down a coworker who keeps venting about office drama? I’ve tried just nodding while keeping my eyes on my computer screen, but it’s getting harder to stay neutral and focused. Other people have already stopped talking to her because, yes, it's that bad. What would you do?

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I used to feel bad for shutting people down, but now I’ve learned that protecting my focus is just as important. When someone starts venting, I’ll say something like I really need to concentrate on my tasks right now, but maybe we can chat later. It’s a polite way to say you’re not engaging without being dismissive.

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Been there! At first I didn’t pay much attention, it’s not like I’ve never complained before. They were just constantly at it though and the negativity really is overwhelming! Telling them politely, firmly, you are bust, can’t talk right now, etc. is what worked for me.

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It's really smart to steer clear of people like that as much as possible. The problem is that their venting can have an effect on your own attitude. I once worked with someone who never shut up about how bad things were, and I started to feel that way. It finally hit me that I'd let their crummy attitude affect my own outlook. So now I just shrug that stuff off.

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Tell her the best way to get past how she feels is to address it directly with the people with whom she has an issue. Issues can be resolved if people are honest enough to put them on the table. Since you are trying to work and she has to vent, I would just say hey I have a deadline to meet so I'm sorry, but I really need to finish what I'm doing without the distractions. You will probably become her next issue, but at least she might get the hint. There are always busy bodies in the office, but you have to say this to her, or she will never stop.

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I have the same problem with clients who are telling me their life stories and all the drama in their family and why they need a lawyer. My boss used to get close to my phone and call out that he needs help with something! It was funny but the issue was a real problem.

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