Dating Woes - I’m a 28yr old living in a big metro area. Everyone I’ve dated is initially interested in my job as an attorney. However, for example, in my last relationship in actuality he didn’t like that I was able to argue or have intellectually stimulating counterpoints later on. In another example, a guy I liked back in the day ended up with an HR girl. My ex used to date a teacher. Nothing against those professions, it just feels like me having a “threatening” job hurts my relationships.

Counterpoint - could it help your relationships because it weeds out less compatible men? You probably have strong communication skills and depth and breadth of thought. You’d likely be bored and under-stimulated with someone unable to engage in conversations you enjoy. Maybe go for guys who like podcasts (good podcasts)? The thoughtful, engaged with the world types, emotionally mature and socially conscious

It definitely helped me weed out men who weren’t on my level. I would have men who got really aggressive and would try to argue with me on dates to show they could win an argument against a lawyer. As soon as a guy says, “my mom said I should be a lawyer,” I would know we were done.

I married a great guy who isn’t an attorney or a doctor (he has a graduate degree) but works in my area of practice and we have great conversations and find each other’s work quite interesting. Don’t settle for less on this front.

They’re out there! I think it helps to find someone who isn’t all about his career or who can otherwise recognize that this isn’t a competition.

Same boat here - 33, living in a big city. I can honestly say I believe it’s had a negative impact on my dating life. I know for a fact my ex was bitter about how much money I made. But as others have commented, it really does weed out the insecure ones. Feels lonely, but ultimately probably a good screen

I've met both blue collar guys who were interested in current events and doctors who were close minded bigots. Often higher education leads to more interesting conversations and appreciation for what you do, but it's definitely not a guarantee. Gotta keep a somewhat open mind about dating the spectrum to see who fits your mindset.
My hubs is in tech. I met him on the League. (Both of us had the free version.) Biggest reasons we meshed: he is kind and has a curiosity for life. That translates into being happy with his job and interested/supportive of mine.
Remember: not everyone is your cup of tea and you're not everyone's but it only takes one.

The men are out there. My husband is a business consultant. I think part of why we work is that he was always interested in a 50/50 partner in life, almost like a business partner but in an actually adorable and romantic way. So my law career doesn’t threaten him, it balances the strategy and intellect of his business brain well. And he loves to have the ace in his back pocket of potentially threatening people about having a lawyer for a wife 🤭

Takes a special guy to appreciate a smart woman and ignore all the societal programming against it. Fingers crossed for you. They’re rare.

Will a man (besides another attorney or doctor perhaps) actually appreciate what I do and not end up with someone who perhaps isn’t as driven or intellectually stimulating? (Obvi this is not a fact, but my personal experience).

Good way to weed out the insecure guys who can’t handle a smart woman. Someone who needs you to shrink so that he doesn’t feel “threatened” does not deserve you.

Someone who doesn't like that you stand firm behind your position and can effectively defend it is likely someone you don't want to be in a relationship with. You'll find someone that appreciates your strengths and finds it impressive and attractive.

Men suck in general but do you bring work home? Meaning are you on lawyer mode 24/7? I only ask this bc you mention “he didn’t like that I was able to argue or have intellectually stimulating counterpoints.”

Just came here for encouragement - you got this! Getting rid of one less dud will make you available for the right one.

It’s harder now especially with women being in non-traditional roles, but making it clear at the very onset helps set expectations on both fronts. Don’t overthink your profession or HR/teachers (or the like) having the better options bc that’s false. Ask yourself what you want, and clearly set the standards up front. I absolutely expect a life partner to be able to be lead as a man, and if he wants me to submit, he needs to be a strong leader. I lean into my femininity. Honestly, it’s worked like a charm bc men want to earn/chase you not compete w you. Think about what you want, perhaps change your approach or set expectations. Good luck! I found mine at age 33, not white collar, but great head on his shoulders.

I think some of this depends on you. Are you always in lawyer mode (i.e. analyzing every situation, arguing for the sake of arguing, etc.)? I had to work on this myself for relationships because no one wants to feel like they’re in a deposition at home.

I gave up on dating “normal” guys and married a surgeon. Highly recommend!