Does anyone have any tips on how I can bring up the prenup conversation with my girlfriend? She's a teacher, so I clearly have a lot to lose if our marriage doesn't work out. But I don't want her to feel like I don't trust her. Where do I begin with this?

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call me old school, but if you are confident that you want a prenup, she’s not the one.

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100%

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I have a trust fund, and I married a woman with no money (and likely never will really work).

I could never imagine making my wife, one half of our combined soul and flesh, sign a document ensuring that it’s 1) easier to leave her if I so wished, and 2) making sure that if I choose to leave her, she’s not getting “my money.”

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Good on you, my friend. Same here, same attitude.

Agree, let’s hear your net worth, then we can weigh in. Unless you are trust fund old money I suggest you let it go.

likesmart

I’d say I’m secure in my relationship and I’m mid-twenties so I think I’m on the path to FIRE. The $1M is essentially all investments. Not counting unvested RSUs.

I was just curious what the opinion of the group would be. I posed it to my GF and she doesn’t have an issue with it and just assumed that what we built prior to the relationship wouldn’t be marital, which seems like a pretty standard opinion among people my age and cohort.

My main concern would be retirement, I have $500k in retirement accounts, so even if it’s not worth a lot now it all be $4m+ when I retire. It would feel weird losing that 30 years from now since I was the only one who contributed to it.

Run up massive amounts of debt, which she'll get half of if she leaves, problem solved.

likesmartfunny

You should talk to her and be honest. Maybe she might want her own prenup. She might not make much as a teacher, but she will also have a retirement plan through her school. At the end of the day, if you have doubts about whether you will be married to her 5, 10, 20, or 30 years from now, you may want to rethink marrying her. Go with your gut and always be honest.

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How much are you worth? Typically pre-nups are to protect assets brought into a marriage, and anything earned during the marriage is for the benefit of both spouses. If you are anticipating an inheritance during the marriage that can also usually be protected.

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Just be clear and ask her thoughts on it

Don’t make or break on this though

I’m a woman and I don’t think this is a big deal at all. I think a prenup is a given in any marriage and should have nothing to do with emotions. Definitely don’t frame it the way you did above though yikes. Just tell her you think it’s important to have a prenup to protect both of you and it’s something you don’t intend on needing but want to discuss

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