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I’m at a loss and really starting to struggle with what is correct so any knowledge opinions or references here would be super helpful
Neither of those are majority opinions, where are you reading this?
Well I’m surprised by that. Neither of those are majority positions in any of the major schools of thought within Sunni Islam - there are recent arguments put forward on this subject which distorts the views perhaps, which focus on either 2 points of disgreement: 1) the “necessity” of a mortgage or 2) whether the rules apply in the first place while living in non-Muslim lands. Argument 1 falls down quite quickly because there can never be a necessity when you have a choice and the 2nd point goes deeper than my knowledge but from what I understand, if that position is to be accepted then the implication of that position is that it is haraam to stay in that location for an extended period of time so you “sin” anyway by their logic.
I can’t comment on Shia Islam.
I recommend reaching out to Sh Joe Bradford, you can book a session with him online on his website