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Anyone have any good audit jokes or one liners?
Chief
Anonymous User
Conversation Starter
Hello Folks,
My LWD with current organization is on 30-Sep-2022.
I have an offer with HCl and joining date is on 3-oct-2022.
I have cleared the TCS technical and managerial round and got an email to upload the documents to proceed further with HR discussion, an I have done it yesterday.
But my priority is to go with TCS, but the doubt is will TCS provide offer or joining letter before 30-Sep-2022, because only 6 days left to complete my LWD.
Any suggestions to handle this.
Tata Consultancy
Pro
I’m a Pro now, baby!
Additional Posts in Overheard Courtroom
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Hoping someone else will share!!
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In a former life I was a bankruptcy litigator and the rules of evidence are pretty fast and loose as there are juries. We were a co-party with the trustee to recover a fraudulent transfer, as the other side kept trying to get rank hearsay in because it “goes to notice.” Our local counsel got sick of this and objected: “Objection. Notice to whom? Your honor”? Opposing counsel: “Notice to the world, judge!” Our guy: “Your honor, the world is not a party to this lawsuit.” I almost fell out of my chair.
In that same trial we had to have a witness who suddenly lost his memory declared unavailable to read his deposition transcripts in. Fun stuff.
Judge Jerry Buchmeyer (now deceased) provided the Texas Bar Journal with hysterical trial and depo antics for almost thirty years in his Et Cetera column. The medical record excerpts are hilarious: "The patient has no past history of suicide." "The patient refused an autopsy. "
Girl, you're thicker than a bowl of oatmeal
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I'm weak.
Yep.
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This is too accurate.
I was defending a deposition one time. There was an allegation of inappropriate punishment of a child. Among the allegations were that the child had been locked in a storage closet with assorted Halloween decor, that included some sort of Halloween spooky sound machine. During the depo, OC asked my client if it was still her position that OP had locked the child in a closet with “monster noises.”
Me: objection. Vague as to what are monster noises. To my client. You can answer if you understand the question. Client: can you rephrase the question?
I thought OC was going to throw her pen at me.
Opposing counsel and I approach the bench after clerk calls our motion. Judge looks up from his papers, looks at me, then OC. Continues to stare at OC, then says “get the fu*k out of my courtroom.” I go back to my office and explain what happened. Sr. Partner laughs and says oh yeah, he had an affair with the judge’s wife.
whoa . . .
Bowl Leader
Custody case last week.
On direct: Dad testifying about how his contact name in Mom's phone is baby daddy. (Pretending to cry): "it's derogatory, I know my child thinks I'm just a baby daddy."
During recess: Me to the GAL: will you dare me to sing the baby daddy song in court?
GAL: I'd pay to see that.
Me, on cross: Mr. L, isn't that an inside joke bt you and Ms. L. Doesn't it come from the song from the 90s, "who dat is, that's just my baby daddy, who dat is..." (singing the song in the courtroom)?
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Accidentally posted this twice. Oops
I once was defending a one legged stripper who was arrested for a simple disorderly. When she was being placed into the back seat of a cruiser, her prosthetic leg fell off and her stash of drugs hidden in the leg. Her leg was confiscated
I had to file a motion to get her leg back. While in court for PTC, I looked at the judge and said, “your honor, my client is on her last leg…”