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My drinking ebbs and flows. When it flows, it scares me. You’re not alone. It’s not mom wine whatever. It’s masking of bigger stuff underneath. So be kind to yourself. You are human. Life is a lot. But do take some time with what’s bubbling underneath that needs your attention. You deserve this care and attention too.
Mom of two here. Scared to actually count how many drinks i have in a week. I find that sometimes it’s habit so I’m trying something new. So when it’s time for my “drink” i replace the booze with something else - usually seltzer + grapefruit juice or hot tea. So I’ve formed a new habit that satisfies the need for me time without the alcohol. Try it, you’d be surprised.
“Wine mom” culture is to blame for this. It makes wine seem fun/irreverent when in reality alcohol is an addictive substance and as you get older the effects of daily drinking take a toll.
20 a week is not a normal “mom” thing. Don’t believe the “mommy juice” infantilism of alcohol intake.
I drink maybe 1x a month. Or I’ll buy a bottle and maybe finish it in 2-3 nights, or forget about it in the fridge. I mean, I’d like to have a glass of wine with dinner every night, sure…but the calories I can’t abide. Or how it impacts my ability to get exercise later that night, or makes me sleep badly if I have more than a small glass.
Maybe find other ways to unwind? If you can’t, then you may have a problem. And it’s not a “mom” problem, it’s a drink problem.
You sound like a real peach.
Weed and edibles are my thing. Not great either but they are more medicinal to help with anxiety and to help turn things off after a long day.
Same. Plus no calories and no hangover. Much gentler on the body IMO.
I’m right up there with you OP. No advice to offer, but you’re not alone.
You aren’t alone. I’ve been trying to take the supplement L-Theanine in the morning to help with overall stress during the day. When I take it, I’m less likely to have a drink. 👍🏻 I’ve also jumped on the lo-cal, low alcohol spiked seltzer wagon merely bc I can still have that satisfaction of pouring a drink but with less sugar and less overall booze to tax my body. I understand where you’re coming from. We are juggling so much these days that something that takes the sting off immediately is hard to say no to.
If the choice is between a cocktail and going to bed, I’d rather sleep. Drinking drains me and I need all the energy I can muster to get through the week.
I don’t drink on weekdays. On weekends I usually drink one night - maybe 2-3 drinks. Might go nuts and have more than that a few times a year.
Same!
I think you should take this to your healthcare professional vs an online thread. I understand why you might be embarrassed to discuss face to face with a real person but this is worse because people judge you without being informed or having expertise, and based on my experience and speaking with HCPs about my issues I can tell you that some of the stuff said here is flat out wrong or isn’t helpful (eg the person who told you 20/week is substance abuse…it’s not, or at least not necessarily, and also that statement alone isn’t even remotely helpful to you). Talk to your HCPs and lean on real resources. I personally like Alcohol Change UK and their TryDry app. They help you get to your goals and have built in expertise that will help you assess where you are and get you where you want to go. I also noticed some things in Alcohol Change UK’s messaging and strategies really track to what you said, eg: “it’s easy to drink more than we want to/are comfortable with.” I wish you the best and also hope you won’t be so hard on yourself! It’s a tough time and the culture is stacked against you (not even just mom culture) and it sounds like you are thinking about all the right things ❤️
You aren’t alone. I’m right there with you alongside many of my friends. I feel you!
My husband is an alcoholic, so with 3 kids to raise with him, I decided long ago not to drink I cocktailed and bartended in college, then watched my husband deteriorate in front of us. I, absolutely (hint) worked on very famous liquor accounts as well…. So I kinda look at the drinking world from sober glasses and didn’t like what I saw!
2-3 a night too.. hardly any night off.. it’s become more of a routine to stop my brain after work. 2 kids. Both started in person school yesterday again. Maybe this will help wean me down instead of alcohol
Try a little cbd and a sparkling water with bitters? Or try herbal adaptogen like rhodiola with some hot tea? Just some thoughts ...
I am a mom of a 16 month old. I used to drink a lot before but have realized I just can’t with the baby. It drains me. I still drink on weekends. I get the desire to drink during the week but I don’t. I think working remotely has helped. Less pressure or temptation to go out with the team for drinks.
Be kind to yourself, we are have bad days, weeks, months…but if it feels like it is something you need…you are no longer drinking for fun.
Did you all ladies realize how many of us are worried about the amount of calories and exercise?? Is this an excuse we use when drinking wine or seltzer? Maybe we don’t feel as bad because they don’t have as many calories. Just an interesting fact, as men won’t mention this. Just another societal pressure we are instantly thinking off.
Take care of mama, I know you will find your way and be great!
None during a regular week. Maybe a glass or two a month. Mom of 2. It physically makes me feel so yucky and the weight gain. So I stay away. So when I do it is a treat.
I drink 1 bottle of wine a week - usually open it on Thursday and finish it Saturday. 😅 Maybe a cocktail or beer if we go out without the kiddo. I grew up with an alcoholic mother and absolutely refuse to ever drink more than this. Set a boundary for yourself and find another guilty pleasure if you can! Lots of great sobriety influencers on IG too.
Probably around 4-5? Husband and I each have a glass of wine every other night. Though they're probably larger glasses than a typical pour...
Zero. Unfortunately, I think that would be a dangerous and slippery slope. For anyone who is already caught up in this habit, I highly recommend swapping a few drinks for another enjoyable activity. I try to take walks while catching up with a friend over the phone. It tends to help get some support, perspective, and movement.
Probably 12 on a bad week and 7 on a good week. Newish parents.
Monday night is our “date” night, a ritual we have around a tv show we enjoy and a way to start the week on a positive note. Glass or two of wine, then.
Tues, Wed, Thursday, try to stay alcohol free but have been sleep training lately and honestly I need a drink to calm my nerves with all the crying. Work has also been super stressful.
Friday/ Sat and sometimes Sunday I’ll have 0-4 depending on what our day looks like. Since I have had a lot to deal with stress this week, probably gonna skip it Sunday and have like two tomorrow to relax at the park.
The calories feel like they add up. I empathize that this is all really hard and a drink sometimes is the easiest to unwind. Hugs.
Aren’t we told to double the amount someone proclaims they are drinking? So is it more like 40 drinks a week? If you think you have a problem, then do something now. First drinking is fun, then it is fun with a problem, then it is a problem.
oh god no. that was the actual number.