How the heck are we caring for infants (under 1) and working full-time? I have daycare but ugh, we are getting up frequently throughout the night and I am just so exhausted. I know this is a season but holy moly. I'm just tired.

No advice, just solidarity. I have a ton of help and I still feel like I’m barely holding it together. I truly have no idea how single parents do it. This is so much harder than I ever imagined it would be.

We aren’t. It’s absolutely inhumane that American work culture and leave policies have moms of infants working. You should be home with your baby who doesn’t sleep through the night and getting paid for it. My sister in law in Germany went back to work at 18 months

It was a non-starter for me. I went part time when my kids were born and still refuse to work in the office. I’m still a real lawyer and love my job! But I have my sanity.

It’s hard. My performance suffered and was reflected in my review but I was only getting maybe 4 hours of broken sleep a night. My kid didn’t sleep through the night until 14 months. But now at 2 he sleeps through from 8-6:30 am.

You can look into getting a night nurse to help out on a few nights. This wasn’t really viable for me because I nursed a lot during the night.

It’s extremely difficult. Heard and felt.

Here to say it was tough, but is now but a blur as my kids are 7 and 8. We survived it, and it does have a light at the end of the tunnel (though spoiler alert, at every age new difficulties arise that require navigating being an involved parent and a lawyer ;). Around the clock sports starting at 5 on a weekday is our present challenge and sometimes I wish I could go back to the infant days!). I think what you were doing here is the best you can do while also keeping in mind that this period will not last forever. Seeking out tips and tricks from those you trust and even using these forums (keeping in mind the advice will be all over the place!) will help you figure out what works best for your family. What personally helped for me was a few things. 1. Making sure my direct supervisors and mentors knew where I was mentally and physically. I had well established relationships such that this worked, but I recognize not all folks have this. This is a time where I also set some firm boundaries. I know that is difficult in this profession but for me was critical. Thankfully, I had established my reputation enough that the partners I worked for respected my boundaries. I was always home by 5 for the small window to do feeding and putting to bed and then got back online. Trust me, if you’re good at what you do, people will respect your boundaries but if you don’t do it, no one else will do it for you. 2. I said no to things where I could. My type A personality worried about what that would do to my trajectory, plus I wanted to be on all of the best deals with the most interesting clients, but ultimately it had no impact at all. I simply could not take on all of the things I was doing before, even if they were very cool or interesting new deals. I saw some mention above that they took reduced hours and that worked for them, which is great. In my opinion, at my firm, this largely disadvantages women. I am at an AMLAW 50 firm so this experience might be different depending on the size of the firm and it’s culture, but the reality is, what we do does not neatly fit into a reduced hours schedule, and so the practical effect of what I see far too often for young women is that they take reduced hours, it dings their path to partnership or wherever you want to be at the firm, and ultimately, they almost always universally end up working well in excess of those reduced hours. Your comp and your bonus opportunities are limited on unreduced hours, and so it does not really give any advantage, and you are paid less money. It is easy enough to explain not hitting targeted hours in the year you come back from leave, and again over the course of your career, a year or two from that point in time, it will not matter at all. But if this is a path you think would work at your firm, I would certainly explore it, particularly if there are women that you know and trust that might be able to tell you the real truth on whether or not they think it makes sense for you. 3. Outsource EVERYTHING you can within your budget. Groceries, cleaning the house, etc. We didn’t use the night nurse, but I knew a lot of colleagues and friends who did, and it was a lifesaver. I am assuming you and your husband are bearing the weight of it equally, but that is another thing. I see a lot of my friends take on more than their husbands. This is harder if you are breast-feeding, which I was not, but I took turns with my husband on who got up at night so at least each night one of us had a full night of sleep. Again I recognize that may not work for everyone, but wherever else you can make sure there is a total 50-50 split with respect to responsibilities to the baby, your house, etc., do it. Our nurture mode tends to lead us to navigate to do more. Nothing wrong if you want to, but it worked for me to really force myself to step away and let him handle more. 4. Give yourself grace. Really, it is ok to struggle as long as you try to remember this will not last forever and there really is a way for you to craft a plan that works for you and your family. You’ve got this!

You can do it! Take each day as it comes, and get sleep when you can. Don't feel bad saying no to things so you can have some down time. You and baby are both better off if you can get some rest. It's definitely exhausting, but you're making it through!

It gets easier once they're sleeping through the night because you have predictability but generally speaking being a working mom is tough, and most women I know feel like they're slacking somewhere. You're not alone! Hang in there

It gets better as they get older, though my toddler has gotten me up at 2am every night this week and I am running on coffee and a prayer 🙃

Being a working mom with a baby is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. About to have two under two next week! Working from home helps a lot. At least if you’re sleep deprived, you can maximize your time instead of wasting time driving to the office and home. And if you have daycare, sometimes you can squeeze in a little nap around the lunch hour if you’re working from home.

I have a 17 month old. I heard after 24 months they actually sleep. I'm just used to sleep deprivation now, lol.

It’s so hard I’m in-house and it was tough. Around the one year mark I felt myself again

My spouse stays at home full time and does the first overnight feed for our 4 month old (she currently wakes up twice a night). I don't know how the rest of yall do it!

Sleep train. Cold turkey. Consult pediatrician before starting.

I’m a big fan of sleep training. I don’t do cry it out. With my last baby I did the shush-pat method, but it apparently works best on babies under ~7 months so if your baby is older than that I wouldn’t recommend. I follow (and bought pdf guides from) a lady on Instagram @babysleepmaven, she has a lot of guidance, schedules, and methods on her page and is also available for video consults if needed.

Lack of sleep is really really hard while you’re working. I feel for you!

Mental health days to sleep are a thing. I mean it, I had postpartum depression/psychosis after two in 19 months. Ex-army wife; nothing is as important to a solder as the Army - not even his kids.