I dated a guy 15+ years ago when I was in college. The night we broke up, he laughed and said, "I gave you herpes." He wasn't lying. I think about this a-hole every time I get a cold sore, every time I want to kiss my kid, but can't due to an outbreak, and I've thought about him every time I date and I have to disclose this. He sent a lengthy apology on social. Part of me wants to tell him off& part of me wants to show compassion bc he's a disabled vet w/a TBI & PTSD which drove the split. Wwyd?

Best to block and ignore. Don’t open the door for someone unstable to come back into your life, even as an acquaintance.

Since you mentioned cold sores I think you’re referring to HSV-1? If that’s the case stats say most adults have this (50-60%). If you’re not ready to forgive him that’s valid and i think the healthier option would be not to reply at all

I’d pay a couple guys to take care of him.

Voting with the ignore group. However, try and let the anger go. It isn't hurting him and it isn't helping you.

He’s asking for forgiveness now? I’d ignore him just to spite him, he can live with the guilt of infecting you knowingly for the rest of his life what an Ahole.
Separately If I had the time I’d get a lawyer and use his social as evidence he did it deliberately and sue the f out of him.

Girlll you are way to nice, people like him don’t deserve compassion

What he did is super illegal. You do not need to show compassion…

Probably better to try to be gracious and short with him. You can write something tearing into him for yourself if you think it’d help.

I probably wouldn’t respond. If you’d like to, I personally wouldn’t show compassion or tell him off. I’d be neutral, while letting him know exactly what you’ve said here.

“Thank you for apologizing. For the past 15 years, I’ve had to disclose this to everyone
I’ve dated, stop myself before kissing my nieces and nephews, etc. Your actions had a tremendous impact on me. I hope you’ve healed.” Then block.

I would leave some hurtful expletives and block.
Also every other vet has PTSD, he’s not unique. Zero compassion.

Basically do what gives you peace of mind. Don’t try to be the noble one in this. Typically with people who have hurt me, I’ve given them a piece of my mind and now about decades later I’m still very glad I did. 😂

Is there no one to report these people to? He deserves jail for spreading diseases

Best thing to do is ignore him. I agree with D1, write yourself a letter to feel better but he doesn’t deserve your time or energy! That was a shitty thing to say.

Ironically enough, the guy who gave me herpes died of AIDS-related symptoms from getting prison tattoos. I've had a colorful life. lol I was not upset with him, though. It took some time for me to figure out it was him. At least you know who gave it to you. And at least he apologized. Herpes is so common. Even acknowledging someone from college who is not currently a friend on social media is bizarre to me. lol

1. ask your derm Valtrex for 9 months
2. therapy with psychologist

Yeah, seconding the votes to ignore him (and not respond), and also to get a Rx for valtrex/valacylovir. I’ve gotten cold sores pretty much my whole life, and these drugs have totally changed the way those affect my life. Sound like this guy was a real a-hole, and you’re well shot of him, and you don’t owe him either forgiveness or a response. But you can give yourself the gift of alleviation of the burden of both this disease and the way you got it- good luck!

Do what will make you more at peace with this. For me it would be sending some choice words his way, immediately blocking, and moving on. Maybe he’s actually remorseful, maybe he just wants you to absolve him so he feels better about himself, either way that’s not your problem. He violated you and you owe him nothing so do whatever makes you feel better

I don’t get it like can some contract herpes 1 if they are not infected? I swear I had a cold sore when I was like 12 and I have no clue why I barely shared drinks but 20 years later I never had it again?