I have a serious case of RBF and have unlocked a new fear that maybe it’s holding me back professionally, at least with first impressions or on calls where I’m not talking as much. “Smile more” doesn’t feel like the right advice but… am I overthinking this?

Botox. Certain placements can soften your resting face. I’ve never been able to control my eyebrows when my bullshit detector goes off, so I’ve been freezing them since 23.

I always used to be told, "Don't forget your face" which is a less obnoxious was of saying "smile more." It's not about smiling but instead about remembering to keep energy in your facial features while you're on a call/with clients etc. It helps me look more engaged without having to sit and smile the whole time.

Also FWIW, pretty sure nobody has ever told a man he has RBF. ..They would just called him "focused" or "serious" or "stern." So I maybe wouldn't worry about it so much and just embrace it.

You don’t need to smile more but if you can somehow get in something to say, whether about the work, amplifying a teammate, or just small chit chat at the beginning can help a little. It literally changes the conversation and gives people a chance to reevaluate.

Men never worry about this for themselves. You’re fine, don’t overthink!! We’re allowed to just exist and be ourselves.

Are you GenZ? I feel like it’s a thing they do for effect. So maybe embrace it.

Who reported my comment? I didn’t say anything abusive. If you don’t like that I said Botox you can share your alternative opinion and have discourse like an adult, but reporting the comment for abuse because I said my personal bs detector is revealed by my eyebrows is wild behaviour.

A few years ago, my job provided some executive presence training. The coach actually trained us to have a resting smile face. It’s not about looking cute or in anyway making yourself look less presentable or serious or unnatural. It’s more about actually finding your natural optimistic face. it’s theater. Work can be theater sometimes

Wait, is this fear just a hunch, or have you seen demonstrative proof that this is an issue?

Before you jump to Botox, or run circles to change who you are, make sure you’re working in the right environment. Yes, societally this is where we are (if you work in the US) but if this is the way your workplace evaluates your potential, perhaps you’re in the wrong place. I got similar feedback once and it forced me to evaluate that environment. I now work with women who give zero about that so I know it’s possible and it feels great.

And if it’s just anxiety, I can’t recommend therapy enough. Own that ish, own your face.

Same!!!

Showing my age here but what’s rbf?

I’m born with it :) Around 12 years ago at my first agency job, (I was around 29-30) the agency secretary/front desk person was chatting with me (we were besties) and had a frank conversation ultimately about how I appear. I was upset at first as anyone would be. But I took it to heart and realized they wanted to help. I started to change my attitude and not necessarily smile more but I was more conventionally friendly. I’m a quiet person and that mixed with the RBF can be taken the wrong way. Not necessarily masking but I did change/adjust the way I interacted with everyone, in a way that felt genuine to me. I noticed a positive change overall. If there’s someone where you work who you admire, study the way they handle themselves and take some mental notes. That can help too.

I used to get comments about “lightening up” being too serious, etc from my managers. I got botox on my own volition, no one recommended it. it was a game changer because I frowned less in meetings. Go to a good aesthetician who can avoid over injecting so you still have expression. It helped me and then eventually I did not need to do it as my frown muscles relaxed. I never lost expression. No one knew because I did not do the lip flips or any of that. Very reserved. Of course a personal choice but it was a game changer for me. I would do it again and do it years earlier. Trust your gut and don’t overdo or get oversold on too many extras.