Related Posts
Who’s working out Monday morning? 😤😤😤
Rising Star
ਝੋਨੇ ਦੀਆਂ ਤਿਆਰੀਆਂ ।।
Additional Posts in The Wedding Bowl
Tux budget NYC?
New to Fishbowl?
Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Rising Star
are you paying? or are the people saying you have to invite people? at the end of the day it’s your wedding. you don’t HAVE to invite anyone. do as much planning without talking to others as you can, people will always want to insert themselves and give unwanted input
I think the default question for anyone trying to make decisions for someone else's wedding is are they paying. If they are, you're in a tough spot. If they're not, you ask them "are you gonna pay for them to come?"
Im paying. This is the MIL.
What happened with you?
I used to stress SO MUCH about this! Everyone said I needed to invite certain people and I wanted to keep it small and intimate.
Fast forward to now, 3 months before the wedding - I just dropped the stress and expectations, I’m letting go of all of the stress of saying no - someone I have met for SERIOUSLY 2 minutes is asking if she’s invited to my shower and she may as well come (my fiancés dad’s best friend’s sons girlfriend)…
All this to say - letting go of the stress will make your day 10x more enjoyable than having it be “perfectly curated” and exactly what you wanted. The more you can go with the flow and stay in the spirit of the wedding/marriage, the happier you’ll be!
In my case with this girl, I know the family gives big gifts and they will at least pay for her plate through the gift, which makes it easier.
In terms of everyone else, I ask myself if I will have them in my life in just 5 years. If no, then it’s a no. For some of the older guests, I try to think about how happy events like this will make them. Again, it’s easier to say if it’s only a few people because it does add up so quickly.
Don't listen to them. Remember that you are the only one in charge of how those comments make you feel! Don't let people put pressure on you.
I had to tell my MIL that we were limited to 50 people and that we couldn’t invite the 25 members of her extended family to the wedding. We are paying for our wedding. It’s a hard discussion but it’s your wedding and your FH should be on the same page with you about it so he doesn’t give a different statement to her.
We ended up compromising by saying that she could host a post wedding party (that she will be arranging and paying for) for those members of the family.
If you are the one paying then there's nothing to worry about. You are not required to invite everyone, OP. You should only plan everything with your planner. Accepting ideas from everyone could be stressful.
It's a lot of pressure to appease everyone on your big day, especially because it should really just be about you and your partner. Set a number and try to stick to it as much as possible, people can either understand or keep quiet!