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Honestly, most of the time, the person who hurt us don't realize OR care that what they said/did hurt us. My daughter recently deleted a message from a former mentor who hurt her so badly. She told me she realized that holding on to that text message was hurting her more than the person who sent it. I mean, they sent it and promptly moved on to their next target/victim. They totally felt justified with what they said and did, without regard to my daughter. Sadly, a friend of mine received a similar text from that same person who never acted like they had done anything wrong.
It is really hard to let those things go that are hurtful, but they really do the most damage in the long run when you can’t figure out how to get over it. And the other hard part is usually the person that caused it will not be bothered at all that you are hurting from it. Difficult but important thing to manage in life.
I was so proud when my daughter decided to let go of the anger and bitterness. It just shows that she is the bigger person. I feel a bit of pity for the other person because they continue to walk their low path of hurting people.
Learning to let go and/or actively get rid of things that are hurtful is a skill that more students and people need. It’s the cause of fights, sadness, isolating behaviors, and so much more negativity. For many kids, once they have been insulted or hurt, their primary objective becomes how to get revenge—which of course, hurts them more as now they are the instigator in everyone’s minds. And the cycle continues. Parents (and by extension, teachers) have to teach kids how to isolate and “pull those weeds,” and throw them away. It’s a tough skill to learn, but kids will be so much healthier in the end. (Of course, this applies to many adults as well!)
Even we as educators have to let go of the anger and hurt. It is easy to hold a grudge against staff, parents, admin, and students. However, in the long run, we are the ones who take the brunt of it when we harbor hatred and anger
Rising Star
Pull those weeds ladies and move one. I take every hurtful comment and backstabbing as a gift. They have shown me their true colors and I am not better armed to deal with them in the future. I do not let it sour more than and hour or two and then I learn the lesson God intended for me and move on!
Ohhhhh, this is so good. I waste so much energy over being hurt, when most of the time, that person doesn't really care
Wow that sounds like you had a really productive day OP. Good for you for getting all the weeds pulled. I wish I had been nearly as productive lately but sadly I have not. I need some sun therapy.