I’ve been in my mid-level, in-house role for a few months. I’m not young (I took off time to be home with my kids). My boss, a woman a bit older than me, told me today that she would like to see a change in my “style”—I come across as “too nice” and she fears putting me in high level negotiations because the other side “would walk all over” me. I asked if she had an example or something specific in mind where there was a poor result due to my being nice, but she did not. Thoughts or advice?

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Tell her don’t worry, you’re an iron fist in a velvet glove, and being nice builds rapport which is important in negotiations

like

Excellent.

like

I worry about niceness only insofar as it creates the perception of indecision or not being able to stick to your guns. If I tell you that 3x is all you're getting as a cap that's exactly what I mean. I don't have to be rude or even particularly strident. It's a fact. So the problem isn't niceness per se but rather people pleasing, being so interested in preserving the relationship that you inadvertently cause the negotiation to go unnecessary rounds because you didn't offer clear guidance on what is and isn't in the realm of possibility.

like

This comment highlights the problem with the word “nice” - it has either a positive or negative connotation depending on context. The word should be avoided altogether if the meaning is meant be negative - to call someone “too nice” sounds like a passive aggressive jab to me. Like you’ve pointed out, if her coworker wants her to make the first offer or set a cap from the beginning and stick to it, her coworker should ask her to do that. Negotiating is just a skill (or really a set of skills and techniques) that can be learned

likehelpful

Nice is effective.

like

Related Posts

Thoughts on TC for Walmart. Currently interviewing for a Supply Chain Manager role, 4.5+ YOE, Masters Degree, High COL

like

Quick question.
I was a contractor for a big company and they just let me know that my last day is December 30th. I got this position thanks to a recruiting company that has been great and gives me benefits.
Should I:
- Continue working with the recruiting company, hoping that they will find another position for me? (as they told me they will, and when they applied me I started working with my current company within 2 weeks)
- Work with the recruiter + apply for jobs on my own?

like

Hello,
I am looking for the job change. Looking for referral.
Experience : 2.6 years
Skills : Node js, Angular, git, mongodb, sql

like

I have a interview coming up for a Program Manager Role and curious if anyone here is a program manager and wouldn’t mind sharing their Salary and top 3 responsibilities. I want to make sure I am being compensated fairly.

like

For those who were diagnosed as an adult can you provide some insight into how you were able to obtain a diagnosis. I went to my primary care dr who referred me to another dr who specialized in mental health. He asked me about 5 questions before telling me I should see a neuropsychologist for an official assessment. The referral he gave me is super pricey and apparently isn’t covered by insurance. Is that normal?

likehelpful

Can anyone refer me for Accenture strategy management consultant role ?

like

What is the difference between below role for SAP Functional Role

Business Process Consultant in SAP SDC vs Consultant/Sr. Consultant in Service Based Comp. ( TCS, Infy, Accenture, DUSI...)

like

What are the best and realistic Public Finance exit ops?

like

What is role of Agile COE in Wipro. How this COE works in Wipro?
It it worth to join Scrum Master in Wipro.?
Any onsite / Promotion Opportunities for ScrumMaster

like

Is anyone willing to refer me for an open position in Microsoft? I have 5YOE in datacenters of IBM Cloud, Google Cloud. I Can share my CV in PM if needed. Microsoft

like

My company has given me a promotion without a raise. Any suggestions on how to deal with this?

Little background:

Asked for promotion in late 2020 - was required to skill up, after skilling up, asked again about when I'll be promoted and was denied because there is no "vacancy" for it.
Got my annual hike in Oct 2021 without the promotion. I asked HR last week again and got a random announcement email saying my promotion is w.e.f Oct 2021. ( and no raise for the newly promoted role).

like

amazon asked from a written response of what i expect salary wise. i’d love to work for amazon and afraid of pricing myself outside or under this position. smartest way to reply?

like

The HR had shared a generic JD for Salesforce Developer with the interview schedule email. I called the recruiter to reconfirm that the interview was for Sales position.

In my interview the panel asked me support related questions, Salesforce limitation, present bugs in the Salesforce and Business Process Implementation. There were zero sales related questions.

Am I missing something?

like

HI Fishes,

I am currently working as a senior research analyst with 4.5 years of experience in market research (report writing, proposals, market estimations, presale and post sales qeuries, etc.). Can you please suggest me with suitable openings and also a possible hike. I believe I am highly underpaid because I started my career with low salary. However, I think I deserve more. Could anyone please help. Seriously please help. Have a great day⛅

like

Just secured a legit ft new grad tech role starting in july not big tech. Should I keep applying all these highly leveraged companies are rescinding offers so im worried about mine even though its a stable company.

like

Anyone have good recommendations for a recruiter in Tampa Florida? 2 year attorney already feel trapped in ID but don’t know what else to do. Every recruiter that reaches out to me is for an ID role.

like

Hello Fishes!

I am a Mechanical Engineer with around 5YOE in FEA in automotive sector.
I am finding it very difficult to get a FEA job in Mumbai (moving out from Pune). Do you think not many FEA jobs are there in Mumbai? Should start developing myself for another role which will bag me a job?

TIA

like

Hello Everyone.

Tata Motors is hiring for various roles in Design, Program Management, Quality, Operation, Sourcing functions.

Feel free to connect if anyone is interested.@TataMotors

like

Last month someone from Natwest posted an opening on a linkedin professional network, I sent him my CV. After couple of days 2 rounds of interview happened and I was told that I am selected, salary was discussd and he told me that offer letter will be released soon. No commumication was done over email. Was he a fraud?

Hi, fishes!

There are multiple openings in Nagarro. Please refer to the screenshot attached. In case you are looking for a referral please find your domain from the screenshot .
DM me your resume on
nagarroreferral@protonmail.com with the following subject line : domain name|yoe

Please note :
2-* is for Yoe > 2 yrs
3-* is for Yoe > 4.5 yrs
4-* is for Yoe > 9.5 yrs
5-* is for Yoe > 14 yrs

Post Photo
likeuplifting

More Posts

Anyone screencapture any of the conversation about Periscope's consent beer campaign on LinkedIn before the company took it down?

I heard it was something to behold.

like

Anyone joined Non-technical teams or about to join ?? This week or next week

like

What are your top 5-10 apps you use on the daily?

Edit: daily mobile or desktop app

like
like

My skin has always been a little dry. I’ve used plain coconut oil on my face for years (as a moisturizer) but recently stopped because my fave would just get red after application. Not itchy but I definitely felt like my skin was reacting. Any suggestions for non-acne related calming face washes or moisturizers?

like

My wife has been told by her boss to come up with 28 hours of PD for her district's paraprofessionals-does anyone know of any free online courses that would be appropriate?

like

What were some effective tips or resources that helped you to learn the systems of your first firm? We feel like our firm admin/paralegal is not getting acclimated and not assisting the firm as we hoped. So we want to make sure we’re effectively training her and providing the best resources/tools for success.

like

What is the highest package can Microsoft dynamics CRM developer can get having 3 years of total experience?

How much Big 4 companies do pay for this kind of profile?

like

Wondering if anyone can provide rough comp estimates (base + bonus) for corp dev roles at the senior analyst / manager level in a HCOL city). My background is Manager with 6 YoE in B4 across FDD, turnaround / restructuring, and valuation.

like

Why is this so true and so known? Agencies are only giving lip service to this, but not taking real action. So what advice do you have for people struggling with this day in and day out?

Post Photo
like

Does any one of you work in a company that hires contractors overseas?

like

I have joined TCS. Now HR saying my bgc came negative.Asking for TAX and PF documents which i do not have. What will happen?

Do i have to search for another job now?

like

Looking for a derm rec to clear up some athletes foot; anyone satisfied with their skin doc?

like

Is there a way to transfer from Aeroplan to Amex pts?

like

Anyone know of any stores in Chicago that buy used furniture? I have a massive and heavy executive desk I want to sell that will require movers to transfer, so I feel like I can’t go the usual routes of Facebook and Craigslist with much success. Any recs would be SO appreciated!

Post Photo
like

Thought I’d give a quick update on my two Seiko projects from before the holiday

Post Photo
like

That was a very slow hour and a half...

Hi I have got E2.2 band
What is the difference between E2 , E2.1 , E2.2 etc

like

Hi all, need 11 likes to DM.
TIA.

like

I am concerned with fulfilling billable hours requirement. I’m required to hit 2100 hours yearly and I’m at ~1,500 hours and I think I’ll hit 150-180hours this month. What will happen if I don’t hit my targeted amount by the end of my year.

likehelpful

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal