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Hi Fishes! YOE - 7 (CA - Regulatory + Financial Reporting). Current CTC - 12 I have an offer from Capco (Consultant-M2 - Regulatory Reporting). Offered CTC is 15.5 I have final interview pending with American Express for band M30. Can someone guide me on the seniority of this band and the salary that I can ask from th HR? Any info would be highly appreciated.
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First of all, we are not machines. Recent research out of South Korea shows thay working 52+ hours creates actual negative brain changes. So this means that everyone needs a break, even job searchers. So, if he only sees what you do in the evening and not during the day, then split your job search activity. Do some in the morning, give yourself a break in the middle of the day, and then get back to searching in the evening where he sees you in front of the computer all evening. You may not be an evening person, but you may need to switch your rhythm for a little while to allow yourself researched-backed downtime while preseving your marriage (if you actually want to preserve a marriage to someone that is so shortsighted and unsupportive - TBH, I see either marriage counseling or a divorce for you down the line). Second of all, applying ro jobs online in front of a computer all day will not get you far. Take it from a 40+ year old laid off at the end of 2022 from her job at her big firm after 24 years of hard work and multiple roles and promotions). I neglected networking because I was so busy at work and then dealing with personal life's struggles. I applied to tons of things and was able to find a lesser paid role (one level lower, tedious work at 60 hours a week plus 15 hours commuting a week) after 10 months only through sheer luck of a recruiter calling me to get a recommendation for a former colleague whom I told I was alsonlooking and who had something come up two weeks later and I interviewed and got the job. It was sheer luck, not hours in front of the computer. And I just started another job 2 weeks ago that is much better paid and with my Director title back, less commute and more remote work days. Did I find it via applying for things on my computer laye intonthe evening? Nope. It was through a referral via a person in an organization that I started to be active in back 12+ months ago. I interviewed and got the job (I had also already interviewed for many other roles, some with rejections, some ending in just ghosting). So it came down to my network, opportunities, timing, and luck. So your husband's expectation that you be at your computer all evening applying leads to a fool's errand in the end. If anything, you should be out at networking groups and socials in the evening and daytime, volunteering on committees at industry organizations and such (which may well require sitting at your computer in the evening to do their comms or coordination or treasurer reports or whatever, not applying to more job roles). In the end, that is what will help you get noticed and have opportunities come your way. Your husband's insistence on an outdated, ineffective, and physically damaging job-search model is a sign that he's clueless and, frankly, not good husband material, sorry to be so blunt.
Well, I am not saying divorce right now. But it's a bad sign, and it will fester unless you discuss your misgivings and he acknowledges your feelings and changes his attitude. Or then you'll instead swallow your resentment for his lack of support until you can no longer keep quiet about it. So maybe 5, 10 or 15 years down the line, if you don't have a constructive discussion with him about how this makes you feel and he's willing to acknowledge that and modify his attitude. That's just my helicopter view of it without knowing you and from my own lens of almost 50 years of life experience and a couple of long term relationships where I've had to make certain compromises, and where I refused to make other compromises. I've been with someone for over 8 years now, and it's far from perfect since we both have our flaws, but the good outweighs the flaws, and we both feel respected (it's where the disrespect or lack of support occasionally flares up that we've had clashes and then we've always talked it out and agreed to each do better, so that's why we're still together - I've been around the block and supportive imperfection, shared worldview and companionship is better than the alternatives, at least for me). Only you know the ins and outs of your relationship and how good your joint communication is and how willing both you and he are to do better. But if nothing were to change otherwise, then based on the tiny description of your lived experience at the moment, yeah, I see a separation eventually down the line, again *if nothing were to change for the better in his behavior/attitude*.
How long have you been laid off? I get how brutal that pressure can feel, especially when it comes from home. When I was out of work, I set strict “work hours” for myself and told my partner that downtime isn’t laziness; it’s survival. Sometimes you have to guard your mental space fiercely, even from those closest to you. Maybe share what you’re doing during the day, so evenings aren’t the only story he sees. Also, applying isn't the only way you'll get a job. You can find one by just being out there and meeting people.
I’m sorry this is your experience. I hope you find a supportive community. Have you considered an executive coach? That is someone that can help you narrow your job search and support you while you need it. As someone who was laid off, it took me six months with the help of a coach to find something new.
I found one of the biggest things that worked against me in my search was the fact that I had been a remote employee for the last nine years. Most of my team was located in other countries or other states from me. I did not have a local in person network that I could talk to, and trying to break in during the job search was difficult. If you have a local network, go to some business events or association meetings. Perhaps that will put you in front of some people that can help you and support you in your search. ATS resume filters are exhausting. (I applied to 100+ jobs and had only 3 actual humans interview me)
Thanks for sharing this with me! I hadn't considered that option at all.
Leave him and go live with your parents. Dushebag
You should check out Fiverr or UpWork while you’re waiting for something to your liking. I use the creatives there all the time and there’s Task Rabbit also