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This is honestly what I was going to say. Best of luck to you OP.
Thanks for sharing - I was in the same situation 2-3 years ago, then I got my mother’s cancer diagnosis and it was my return call. This made me spend a big chunk of my savings in 2-3 months for her medication. I realized two things:
- didnt even bat an eye on spending that money, money became worthless infront of real life scenarios
- all my overthinking and savings for future plans (future home/dream car) felt also worthless
Bottom line is, Allah SWT gives you reminders throughout the way cause he is the most merciful, cause as we are sometimes “drunk” with the dunya, a lot of times we wake up to see it’s shortcomings, and the people who really win are the ones that can stay “sober” for the longest time
Your self awareness is an indication that He is guiding you. Not many would even acknowledge and ask for help like you have.
The money we have isn't actually ours. We are just its custodians. The only thing we own is our good deeds. So make the mental shift to amass more of the latter.
Another "advice": Attachment to money didn't come overnight, so detachment won't be overnight either. Give yourself grace.