Off Topic Post

My husband and I are both working professionals. He plans to buy a 3 BHK flat in the future and wants to have his parents move in with us. While I’m okay with them staying for a few days or short visits, the idea of living together long-term makes me uncomfortable. I find it hard to imagine how people manage living with their in-laws permanently.

Yeah short term or in need we are happy to be with them but long term it's really complex. My monther in law desperately insists to be around all the time.. Jus left it on time...

Healthy boundaries are very important in any relationship and we enjoyyyy more if we spent quality time occasionally, so your concerns are valid should be communicated

Don't fall into this trap sister.. That will be a living hell.
Currently I am staying with the in-laws and it's like hell. My parents are also getting old what about them ? I am planning to leave my current job and move to Bangalore City only for this reason. My husband can't because he is into a government org. But living with that lady is literally like hell. My husband and I used to be best friends for almost 10 years and now all our communication strings are getting detached day by day..
So sister don't let the trouble invade your sweet home.. Support them , help them when they need but do not let them destroy your mental peace.
I am totally broken, my mental peace at its end.
I earn 3 to 4 times more than my husband yet they are treating me like an outsider like I am nobody!!! 🙂
Over a decade of friendship turned into a nightmare. Sooner or Later husband will stop listening to you and keep supporting the wrong one(in laws)

I believe that if his parents need support in their old age, then so do mine. He often says, ‘Your parents will come and go—why can’t they stay too?’ But living with in-laws means living by their rules—I can’t wear what I want, like short clothes, I can’t drink, and I can’t even spend quality time with my husband on vacations.

Instead of 3 bhk buy two 1 bhk separate

Ask him, can we get 4bhk n my parents could come and stay too whenever they want to.

Honestly even me. I always think theres no privacy at all, you cant be yourself. Mostly girls have to live upto their in laws expectations. I dont know why men dont understand that.

See not even his parents moved still his negativity started now imagine how much will it increase after the move with you. 🙂
Day and night there will be back biting you won't even realise when the wall has been created.. They will make a sadistic pleasure out of it.. and your husband yes him he will keep supporting the wrong
He will corner you like you are no one... I am going through hell sister... 🙂
It starts with a small misunderstanding then miscommunication then after a while no more communication just ends up with a formal relationship 🙂
I really feel bad for you right now.. In 2020 I encountered him to take his mother along with him as his father died.
Now I am facing the consequences and I am leaving him with his dearest mother and flying to Bangalore for a new start . For society they will see everything is normal from outside but Inner Me 'Destroyed' 🙂

To people who think that "it's ok for a woman to stay with their inlaws"

This is my experience:
my MIL doesn't like me very much.
She like me or happy when I do all the work like a servant.
She treats our servant better than She treats me. She doesn't give me a food prepared by her.
She complaints on everything I do , even when I know I did well.
She wants to come with us wherever we go.
She doesn't help /doesn't let my husband help in raising my son.
My husband is very dependent on his parent ans I don't feel like I married a grown up.
Imagine a man living with a person like this. Will they continue to stay or leave.

Now my parents : they treat my husband like a guest every time we go to their place.
No man is staying in their in-law's place.


I wish we lived separately. That way I would have still liked my in-laws and my husband would have been more active and responsible.


There were so many incidents where my MIL intentionally hard on me.

Same concern here. I too need some suggestion on this situation.

Didn't you girls discuss this before marriage?

If we release any kind of their dependency in running household, can they realize to give healthy gap to their married kids?

I can’t believe how girls are thinking this way… I am a girl and here’s my perspective… consider if your sister in law treats your parents that way, will it be fine? Of course not, right?
As the parents get older, your husband must be concerned about their wellbeing just as you are concerned for your parents… Marriage is not just about privacy and living your own life, it’s about fulfilling the responsibilities as well.
If you take care of his parents, he will respect you more and will be concerned for your parents too..
And imagine what if your daughter in law treats your this way and has same narrow mindset like you, your old age will be hell with this selfish mindset..

In my case it's exactly the opposite. I want them to live with us all the time. I am a working woman . I have a kid of age 4 .

When I was not having a kid I was living with my husband . But since I gave birth to the kid we brought them in pune and I got full back of them . Now my devrani is pregnant and my mother in law has to go to her . To help or support her as she doesn't have a mother . And I am worried how I will handle work and family. My husband is not in IT so no WFH.

Of course it depends on how supportive your in-laws are.

In my case I am lucky to have them.
My daughter is a happy soul because of them.
I don't know how I would have managed without them .

If you're planning a kid it's always better to have someone at home to see your kid.