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let's parking lot that for now = you are wasting everyone's time
messaging = lying, but nicely and in a way you MIGHT get away with
“That’s interesting” is my favorite... filler phrase that means I could care less what you are saying and I’m going to do what I want to do.
“Circle back” aka let’s never talk about this again
"As indicated in my last email..."
You're an imbecile. Stop wasting my time.
in a meeting with client: (team member name), please feel free to jump in here... aka say something now idk what this person is asking me
“Just following up” = why the f have you not taken care of this
For our India friends “do the needful"
Even I have seen the same. PFA and kindly do the needful. . .
“I think we need to take a step back and reassess” means “you’re all fucking wrong please stop talking"
“This was super helpful” aka that was a huge waste of time
Literally just said this to a client after a 30 min impromptu meeting when all I needed was a ‘no'
This thread is life. Also, “keep me honest” = you’ve been closer to this than me and I’m totally BSing what I’m saying right now just to have air time
FACTS
“let’s take a step back” - what your asking is not part of the SoW
"per my last email" = "BITCH ARE YOU DUMB"
“Have you thought about..” “what if we”.. aka, dumb shit, this is how to do it correctly
“We want to equip your team with the tools necessary to be successful” = “you need to fire some of these tools and hire better tools”
This is the thesis of my current project 🤣
Pls fix = Pls fix
“Looking for your guidance” = I don’t know what I’m doing and want you to do my work even though you are paying me thousands of dollars each day to do it
Also; hate it when I spend lots of time working on something and submit it for review and the first feedback I get it "this is a good start"
“Here is ______, Please let me know if you need anything else”
= did what you wanted me to do, for the love of all that is holy please don’t make me do anything else.
“We’ll look into it” aka I have no idea wtf the answer is
Eff no. I have been "really looking into that" for last 8 years.
“I’m sorry, please let me clarify” aka, over your head huh?.. Let me dumb it down even more for you