Tell me if I am over reacting- 6 weeks post partum, my partner and I discuss that he needs to resume his job and first 6 months in his new role will be very demanding, and we plan a vacation at the end of those 6-7 months, basically this past December. Baby was about 8ish months then. Forst long 10 hour flight, 2 days in London and then our next stop. Day 1 in London after a lot of packing, somehow by 2:00 pm getting out of the Airbnb and btw am exclusively breastfeeding (contd)..

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I think choice of words matter here and that communication on both ends could be improved. After he mentioned getting the perfume, you could have redirected or said something like, "Okay sure. Can we/you get it later though? I'd really like to soak up the day and do XYZ instead." You're not overreacting though—you're just sensitive about how time is spent while on a much needed vacation (and I'm the same way). When others aren't aligned on that mindset, it's a lifestyle difference, and nobody is right/wrong.

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I don’t think you are overreacting but I do think you should try to have a conversation about hopes for this vacation. It sounds from your initial description that you’re both probably exhausted from your relative roles of mom/postpartum/childcare and your partner having an incredibly demanding job for the last 6 months.

There are potential compromises here - he can shop alone later, he can shop with the baby while you get some me time, he can decide the priority is you and not the perfume. I guess try to communicate feelings and expectations and see if it helps. FWIW I would also be upset in this situation. But I hope you can salvage the time together!

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Yes, IMO you’re overreacting based on what you’ve shared. Instead of letting him buy the perfume which takes an hour maybe?, you drag out a fight that’s clearly been brewing for a while over his family - that you’re justifying to yourself because it’s the first vacation since you had a baby. It’s valid to want a vacation and time for yourselves, but buying someone a souvenir assuming minor inconvenience seems totally fine. You clearly don’t like his sister.

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We step out and I am finally breathing in open air that last 8 months have been such a ritual and it’s our first vacation.. at 2:00 pm first thing he mentions that he would like to go to a mall to buy a perfume for his sister as she has been asking for it for 2 years. And I am like can we keep it optional and not a priority (at this point am just done with never ending to dos and want a free day to myself if not ourselves).. and we have a fight that I am being “cheap” as I always have a problem with “his family”. He will tell his sister that “I was the one who didn’t want to get it”. The statement I believe is so insensitive at so many levels and it’s like me bs rest of them. What nonsense!

I would be really annoyed if the first day of my vacation after all this time going through postpartum if my husband wanted to immediately get a gift for his family. That said, I’m sure you’re both just exhausted and burnt out and men can be dumb. I agree that you should try and salvage it so that you can enjoy your vacation and just tell him you’ve been constantly caretaking and really was looking forward to a vacation from that

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