The 12/12, step 11 says, “Occasionally we are seized with a rebellion so sickening we simply won’t pray.” Just hit month 22. Haven’t been praying regularly for over a month. Has anyone fallen off their prayer routine and how do you get back into it? My sponsor told me to read step 11, so I did. But in reading it, I am now confused about how to pray and what to pray about because it sounds like there are a lot of restrictions.

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Think of the prayer as a conduit to Spirit. A connection, if you will, to the Will of God. When we get that "feeling of rebellion", it is a remnant of the ego mind that STILL gives us the impression (feeling) that we know what's best for us, and venture out on our own power to acquire that goal or desire. It never ends well, and sometimes ends right back to our addiction (comfort zone), which turns out to be our "easier, softer way". What a trick THAT turns out to be. The only reason the wrong, or limited outcome seems to be easy is because that's what program is easiest to retrieve, and run from this old files of addiction and helplessness. So.. frequent prayer is really necessary to keep our connection with the God that's "Closer than a brother".... and what's closer than a brother? The Spirit that dwells in YOU. Remember, the kingdom of heaven is within you, From that vantage point the Will of God of which we speak, works out of each iota of His creation (You, me, and every Living thing) to it's end. Chaos results when we get off and stray from that frequency, and we suffer as a result. Our suffering is addressed with mind- alerting chemicals to minimize its damage, and we get addicted all over again to minimize the pain. Keep on the right frequency, and pray often... you'll see the difference.
Makes sense?

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I understand this but struggling to get back to prayer. When things are going well I feel spiritual, when I have fear and doubt I don’t want to pray. And if Gods will can’t be changed and it is what it is, and that also means you aren’t supposed to pray for other people, what do you say when you pray? What am I praying for?

Oh yeah, this happened to me a few times in the first couple years. It was helpful to read that line and know that it’s not uncommon and that I’m not alone. I believe the next line says something like, “when we’re ready, we resume our practice.”

I’d say, don’t beat yourself up, don’t over complicate it, and start small. In times of confusion or indecision, simplify. Serenity prayer + “God please keep me sober today” is a powerful 1-2 prayer punch that shouldn’t be too hard to swallow.

Also, there’s a line somewhere that talks about doing the “irreducible minimum”. When I’m just stuck, I try to remember this and then do the tiniest next right thing. Sometimes that’s “brush my teeth and get out of bed”, other times it’s to take a walk or call someone, or hell, to just put on some pants, haha.

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