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I assume you already have dual citizenship for all the kids? I don't understand how people would do this without that option.
I did it the other way for about a year. I’m English and was commuting from London to work in Seattle. After a year we moved to the US. Honestly, it was miserable and exhausting. The traveling and constant major time zone differences made me a zombie. I was determined to get back regularly as I had a young child then. I was a lot younger than it sounds you are. It may be easier if you’re East Coast based, but generally I’d seriously recommend against it.
I do know someone who’s doing the US to Europe thing now and has been doing it for a few years. From a distance I’d say his marriage is seriously in jeopardy.
Can you retire early and go enjoy life with them? Otherwise, it’s a slog. I used to be in London or Europe 2 weeks a month from the US and was always jet lagged. Can’t imagine doing it just for a weekend consistently. NY to London would be slightly more tolerable.
I did this for two months between NYC and Europe for project work in my early 30ies and it felt quite exhausting. Maybe if you do every other weekend, it would feel okayish
There’s a big difference between “for a summer” and “possibly longer.” Just for a summer is no issue - they might go for, say, eight weeks, and you could easily join them for 3 or 4 - incl 2 weeks of PTO and just working 2 weeks from Europe (that will have no tax consequences). But if “possibly longer means a year or more then that’s a very different story. You sure they aren’t just trying to get away from you? In any case, if your wife and kids have never actually lived in Europe they might like it much less than they think …
Big factor here will be the age of kids and how close are you and your wife at this stage of life. If you and her could benefit from space - could be a good option (assuming kids are old enough that it does not impact them).
Does spouse and kids “itching to go sooner” mean more than your own sanity, health, and work life rhythm?
Maybe, maybe not. But that’s for me to decide based on my unique life situation, which could be exactly the opposite of yours or others.
If you’re financially secure just retire early and go. You probably have more money than you and yours will ever need at this point. Most seniors I know wish they had hung up their gloves sooner
You must be a zombie...West coast 2 years drained me . You must be a natural fly Europe guy
Maybe transfer to a European member firm for your last few years and live there. I did it for 5 years in Europe and then came back to the US. In your case you could transfer and then retire.