What are some things you realized that are deal breakers for you when getting to know someone that you didn’t realize before?

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M here. Need to figure out the right way to say this without being blasted in the comments, but: having “too close” of a relationship with the parents. What I mean by that is, the only way anything gets done is if her mom tells her to do something, anything you say that is in defiance of how her mom wants or does something is wrong, etc. I guess this is a special case of a more general dealbreaker I would call incorrigibility

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This is a really valid point - actually a big point of contention from my broken engagement where my ex would change their tune based on what the parents would say.

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Study their relationship with their parents and pay attention to what they say about their relationship with their family. Also make sure you give enough time to see evidence to everything they claim to be

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Thanks A1, I agree time is important

Looking back, I think the things that I realize now that I didn’t back then:
- lack of respect - a consistent small disregard of my feelings or opinions will only get worse during hard times
- lack of ambition - have some goals, so many people I met were just going with whatever they were told to do
- lack of accountability - being able to n look inward and realize that you messed up is huge and is signs that person wants to get better. Not many people can do it unfortunately

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These are all very good points - I suppose the self improvement piece particularly if you are invested in it is an important comparability factor

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I was listening to a Mufti Menk lecture yesterday on this topic. Surah Nashra is also about burdens we bear. Within this Surah,Allah SWT speaks about how He is the one that granted the cure, purity, and strength after the backs were about to break. Allah SWT takes us to this point to refine us. We never know our capabilities until we are tested and challenged. This is when we realize we can do it and we can get through it 🫶🏻! IA you got this 🫶🏻!

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likeuplifting

I was just laid off. I feel lost, feeling both pumped up for the future but pained because I was a high performing, straight laced, and by the book team member. Looking for Muslim leaders who are recruiting. Extensive experience in strategy and implementation of Data and RPA technologies. PMP and RPA developer certified. SQL, R, Python, UiPath, Agile, waterfall.

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