Related Posts
That kid is my fucking spirit animal
Anybody here tagged in Wipro yahoo project !?
Sending love to everyone today ❤️
Chief
Who else trains legs on Monday ?
Additional Posts in Law
Chief
How competitve is a US district court clerkship?
Best divorce lawyer in NYC?
Rising Star
How hard is the path from lit to GC?
New to Fishbowl?
Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Many define themselves as being a biglaw lawyer at firm [X], and that has become their identity. They no longer define themselves as a son or daughter of God, husband/wife, father/mother, etc. because they have often sacrificed relationships and spirituality in pursuit of money.
I think many partners, especially heads of departments and practice groups, often exhibit such a lack of leadership acumen because they are approaching their career from a position of perceived weakness due to deeply rooted insecurities. This causes them to blame others for the things they find lacking in their own life, and they seek to control anything they can to try and make up for it. This includes workflow and career trajectory for the more junior folks in their group.
This phenomenon certainly isn’t unique to big law, but I think the unique pressures of big law exacerbate the issues.
This. And certain practice groups are worse than others. Some “partners” (even with equity), given the nature of the work, don’t really bring in new business. They’ll rationalize (and some firms outright say) that “oh there are all different kinds partners!,” but I think this causes further mental/emotional tension that fuels the inauthenticity.
Because there are sharks in the water and anything you say or do can be held against you. It’s not a situation that breeds authenticity.
Very very well said.
Billable hours steal your soul
And sometimes to two clients at once. Don’t lie, you know you’ve done it. :-)
Your coworkers are not your friends. Move accordingly. I just want to get my work done and go home to the people and communities I care about.
Pro
6ish? Some of the colleagues who I met as a junior are some of my best friends to this day, probably at least partially because we worked together practically every day until midnight-ish.
Rising Star
They have fully bought into the “matrix”. The job and their career are their whole lives and personality and they lack any real depth to even have an authentic relationship. I agree with the others that point out that they’ve severed their connection with God as well as humanity in furtherance of career progression, prestige, and wealth. I realized this after becoming a father and am so glad I left private practice instead of sacrificing my family like so many people around me did/were doing.
You can get it back - but you have to want it.
Rising Star
I don't think its just big law. I think it's the whole industry. There are so many toxic things about it. You must be perfect all the time but no one wants to teach you how to be an attorney or about all of the unspoken rules in this profession. If you make a mistake or struggle at all, you're told to hide it or you are mocked behind your back.
It's easier to just keep your walls up and present a completely fake version of yourself at work.
I think for me it depends on the firm. I’ve worked at a number different firms. Many of which were cliquey and unfriendly or just bitchy. It wasn’t until I came to my current firm that I found coworkers and Attys I couldn’t be my authentic self with. With whom I could laugh, joke, cry and just be part of a close team. I would t give that up for the world.
Some people just deliberately make other people’s lives miserable and pretty proud of doing this.
Dogs are always dogs. Human beings, not always.
Because people in power made me fearful to lose my job after being laid off twice and so now I smile and nod and play the game while actively planning my exit lol
Most of the attorneys I know are so wired into the grind they’ve simply lost their humanity.
I try to be friends with people I work with. I work a ton and am always “on” which hinders my ability to maintain friendships outside of big law. Maybe others are better at it but I can’t for example make plans and deal with always having to cancel them because something at work comes up that never feels like it can wait. So… I do my best to enjoy social connections when I can get them. I know it sounds a little sad and maybe it’s my own inability to balance it whereas perhaps others can, but for me it really puts a premium on forming friendships at work.
9 times out of 10 it 100% can (and should) wait. The only reason “it cant wait” is entirely artificial— because the person who thinks it cant has wrapped themselves up in their identity as “BigLaw” and not a dad/mom/husband/wife/friend (and they need to justify their absurd hourly rate by being “responsive”). It’s peak inauthenticity.
I used to work for Snell & Wilmer. The culture was totally manufactured and based around appearances and upholding the status quo. Also, people attracted to biglaw are all about the money, not about real justice, the fight, being a pillar of strength for the underdog. You want to meet real people, I suggest the public sector or firms that serve individuals and the downtrodden. Just my thoughts, from a non lawyer (and nobody).
No wonder i got laid off
Why is that not ideal?
Biglaw attorneys are barely sentient beings. Just leave ASAP before you become like them permanently
I never had that problem, OP. I got on with certain people, and not others. It’s a professional work environment so I never expected to get really close to anyone. A few that I still talk to today, but as in non-professional like, real friends are few and far between.
I haven't had that experience. Sure, there are fake people everywhere and you'll run into some. First, you need to gain trust then after awhile you can have full, real conversations. My experience includes the Managing Partners and Executive Committee level and extending to all levels "down" to the mailroom.. Maybe I was lucky but I've been at 3 big firms. I've found less authentic people at smaller firms but even within those walls there were a couple regular people. Let them get to know you slowly. It might take time as there are cycles to everyone's stress and daily output.
June Cleaver?
https://nettax.org/our-services