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I don’t see an issue with it if the nanny is not sleeping. I close my eyes while holding my newborn. Now if you can noticeably see head nodding, dozing off, and/or snoring then that’s a different story.
It’s not really unhinged you’re literally paying this person to stay awake while holding your child, although you can’t prove they were not asleep and they deny it so you need to trust they’re telling the truths even though it’s highly likely they dozed off… you can usually tell
Use this to reset a boundary that if there’s ANY chance of drowsiness move the baby to the bassinet and that she should always attempt a transfer once the baby is in a deeper sleep
We found our night nanny sleeping holding our baby — my husband had a really serious conversation with her about how that was really not okay with us and she promised to never do it again.
It’s almost harder where she’s denying being asleep. You can maybe blame yourself being crazy and explain that when you see her eyes closed for 30 minutes it’s really hard for you not to spiral into worry so please don’t do that and put the baby down if she needs to rest her eyes?