a friend just let it slip that it's generally known that I'm an asshole. feeling hurt and not sure how to proceed from here.

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Self awareness (ish) is the first step to recovery

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Stop being an asshole.

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That's a real friend. Start your road to redemption by thanking them, sincerely.

....or just double down on asshole. Might find yourself in the White House someday.

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When I lived in LA I felt like a lot of people mistook my sarcasm and cynicism for being an asshole. They told me I was really negative. I moved to NYC and people have told me I'm very positive and easy to get along with. 🤷

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Are you an asshole?

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Hey OP, sucks to hear something that, especially when you sincerely don't see yourself as an asshole. But it isn't the worst thing to hear, and if you use the information to try to connect in a different way with people, you'll be better for it. I get that you're hurt (of course) but the worst thing would be to become defensive about it. Also, take it for what it is - one person's perspective of how everyone sees you. It's probably only half true.

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Move to ny

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Yeah, bro, maybe knock that off. Try being genuine with people for a change instead of hiding behind sarcasm as your coping mechanism.

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Agree with Copywriter 2. A good way to do that is to let a few people know that you value their opinion and would welcome any honest feedback and ask if they could let you know, 1) what are two things you think I am doing well and 2) what are two things you think I could be doing better? You will be amazed at what you learn, and it’s better than waiting for some end of the year 360 because it opens up a dialogue with the person who gave you that feedback and allows you the chance to try and make good on their commentary.

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Own it. Larry David style. It's liberating!

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You are butthurt about being an asshole? That’s some crazy shit.

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I know at least one well-intending individual who tries to relate with the team by making dry, sarcastic jokes at other people’s expense... and it’s kind of an asshole thing to do. Even though they don’t seem to realize. Probably not you OP. But general assholery is seemingly not that uncommon

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I would get a second and third opinion. I've had friends tell me criticisms and outside observers actually pointed out it was their jealously or way of sabatoge. Just do you and find people who love you for you.

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Plot twist, maybe your friend is an asshole

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I never saw myself as an asshole so it's difficult to process this information. I'm sarcastic and a little dry with my humor.

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I appreciate all of your advice, thanks folks.

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Why not ask a few questions to learn more? Asshole is extremely vague. That way you can learn from it instead of being paranoid.

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OP, you in New York?

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Self-reflection. Sometimes you are the asshole even if you don't mean to be. Look into every single interaction you've ever had and then second guess yourself and have a ton of self-doubt and self--loathing until you wake up and start the cycle over again.

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Who isn't an asshole these days?

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