Am so sensitive to cristisim...... how do I change... crits are painful to me and it's hindering..

Hey. This is normal, don’t worry. But you do have to develop a thick skin regarding criticism. You’ll benefit a lot from it - UX design is not art or a personal expression of your inner self: it is an endeavor to make the life of whoever is using the thing you’re designing better, easier, less worrying. So take the criticism to make a better product, not on yourself, even if it might feel that way. Use the constructive criticism to make an excellent product - that’s what you should care the most: your users, the business and how the product you’re designing will help both. Use that as your guide to respond to criticism, to guide your work methods and to grow as a designer. Best of luck!

Just remember critiques are aimed at your work, not your abilities. See it as a way to collect feedback and iterate, iterate, and iterate!

Tough one. It's really important to note that crits are one of the best ways to improve.
Humbly taking feedback, and not personally are a great way of understanding where and how to improve.

Context is important. How are crits being done? The environment needs to be productive, non finger pointing, and helpful on improvements

It's less about developing a thick skin and realize that you're part of a team and for the most part everyone wants the best solution and it's not just on you but a collaborative mission.

Agree with all the perspectives above and would like to add to the point about not taking it personally. As Epic Games 1 quite correctly says UX (and all) design is not a personal expression but rather an attempt to solve complex problems and make people’s lives easier - keeping this in mind when dealing with feedback should help you externalise the criticism and use it to improve. I was taught a mental exercise of trying to imagine yourself sitting with the client from above (like you’re a drone), then moving further and further away until the scene becomes very small. Then place the whole thing inside a glass box. I don’t know why I was taught this because people get upset when you drift off and start drooling while they speak so yeah don’t know how helpful that is. Point is to separate yourself from the work and from the feedback - you PRODUCE designs, you ARE NOT THE DESIGN. Hope this help! We all go through this btw.

Critics are important, but also come with different flavors. For example is not the same if it is “somebody’s opinion” or a “knowledgeable persons opinion” or even a mandate from your boss or important stakeholders. Be aware of this to tune your response or how much you take from them.

Also, If they are not constructive, acknowledge them and put them aside. No need to give more thoughts than that.
If they are indeed constructive then listen, take notes and later evaluate and learn from them. In these cases, they are rarely personal and if they are not about you, then there is nothing to be ofendes about them ;)

Detach your person (and ego) from your work and you’ll see that criticism is the best way to improve.

Long story short, the more you feel reluctant, the more you should do them. What's uncomfortable will start to become insightful, useful, you'll change perception of 'criticism' to actually becoming 'helpful insights'.

Remember, it's not about what you are doing wrong, it's about how it can be even better.

A big bonus is that showing openness to critics and taking feedback onboard shows immense maturity and it will take you a long way.

Embrace it.

If you have a therapist they can help you unpack why you’re reacting that way. If you don’t and it keeps affecting you consider getting one. Therapy has helped me a ton with communication and professional relationships.

UX is about collaboration, your role is to being together different sources of information including opinions and deliver a solution that meets the requirement. Transparency is key & “take them in the journey” if you can take a stakeholder on the journey with you, this reduces this being an issue.

I come across so many designers who sit in their silo want to be given the requirements and then left alone to do the design as they feel if they collaborate it reduces their level of influence. When infact this causes problems because they don’t validate early enough.

I choose to think that nothing is personal. There is a problem, you come up with solutions. Some of them might be better suited, some of them might not or might need different perspectives or have considerations you haven’t thought of. It is nothing against the quality of work itself. Most of the time you get feedback on choice of colours and ui that might hurt you, but if there is a design system in place those get easier to defend. Also if you try to be impartial and try to do pros and cons to every solution that also might make it easier for stakeholders to make the best choice for their business.

What bothers you the most about them? I don’t wanna assume.

Remember that what may be disguised as perhaps being unkind/insensitive is truly them having the utmost respect for what you do. People don’t think much of lost causes so they must see a lot of potential. Part of being a ux designer is developing a thick skill you got this

Do you know how you would like to to be given a feedback?
If you do, you should announce it outright: tell them that this is how you would like your work to be criticised: constructively and with suggestions of improvements.

We use to do big CRIT sessions with 10+ people looking at a design. My way to cope was to listen to all the critiques and not respond/justify my designs. Ask everyone to leave a written trace of their critique on a post it.
Collect the post its and reflect on it while being alone, in my comfort zone
What I find challenging is to respond to a critique, a first good step is to simply focus on taking in the critique without responding
Good luck 👋

If the feedback is subjective, like “I don’t like the color of this” and you have evidence as of WHY you made that the way it is (for example you need a focal point aka CTA or this color is associated with comfort) then you can agree w the feedback but then explain why you made it that certain way. As a designer it’s CRUCIAL to be open to constructive feedback. Yea it may hurt, but if you view as a way to learn and grow then maybe switching into that mindset can help.

Do your work to solve the problem as you interpret it. Take criticism as suggestions. Use what you find helpful and try to understand the ones that aren’t, but take all in stride and know that you wouldn’t be there if you weren’t any good. Thank all for their POVs and keep moving forward.

You really have to separate yourself from the work. The criticism is not at you. It is ways in which the work can improve. It's easier said than done though. I've been a designer for 20+ years and there have been many times over the years that I've had my feelings hurt. The best way to prepare yourself for criticism is to know your data. Use data to validate your design work so that it's less about objective "good" or "bad" and data driven design. If you don't have data for specifics, have the mindset that it's still "in-progress".

And when people attack you rather than the work, which does happen. Take a deep breath, do some tapping to ground yourself. And get out of that situation as soon as possible. Once in a safe space - remind yourself that you do not have control over what other people say/think. You can control how you react - let yourself grieve, be uncomfortable, and let go those emotions. I hope that helps!

There's a filter to master. If you cannot master the filter, you might have an unconscious dependency to the victim role and that's a whole other issue. I only care about critics from people i admire in some way. And i take them with honor. Remember that after the (ego-induced) pain, what will remain from it only gives you more strength and power. It is something of great force.

For people that you have zero professional admiration or respect in the topic of the critic itself, let it go straight to the trash can.

I stopped feeling bad when I realized that the designs aren't mine. Anything I create working for a company isn't. I don't own it, they do. Try to think about it in those terms and you realize it doesn't really matter what people say. Just adjust the designs and test with users whenever you can to offset the negative requests.

Have you level set expectations for design critique? Are you getting feedback like “I don’t like that purple” or do your stakeholders understand the user focus for the design?