Anyone else bothered by the one size fits all bashing of straight white males? I have some really great allies in that camp, while many gay men I’ve worked with have been absolute monsters.

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Yawn. There are plenty of other bowls to join this conversation. This bowl deserves better. It’s not one size fits all, and whataboutism is a dangerous for marginalized communities. White men who aren’t misogynistic, patronizing, jerks are just fine. And *if* a white male has to deal with being judged and have to prove it, I’m ok with that for a while too. 🤷‍♀️

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No

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I just don’t think blanket animosity directed at any form of identity is healthy or constructive. I feel like we’re better than that, as people who have firsthand experience with being stereotyped. I don’t need to minimize an entire group, even if they are in a position of privilege, to make myself feel better or more powerful as a minority. “When they go low, we go high.”

No. One. Is. Doing. That. (And for the record, when they go low doesn’t help your argument)

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What is “that”?

Why are you so aggressively dismissive toward ideas that aren’t your own?

Why is it so apparently upsetting for you to imagine that people within the lgbtq community want unity rather than division?

Obviously I don’t know you, but your style of communication has certainly proven one thing: you are very angry. And for that, I am sorry for you.

Alright, I’ll bite. Paragraph by paragraph...

1- reread your own comments if you can’t figure out what “that” is
2- don’t confuse position and platform as an idea
3- as stated in my first response... white dudes that aren’t jerks are just fine. The others that are being called out and don’t like it, that’s how change happens. If it forces white men to listen more, understand, challenge their privileges, make them the slightest bit uncomfortable... we then all win and the road to meaningful unity is paved.
4- it’s a shame you don’t know me or there aren’t more people like me in your life- exposure and perspectives (especially ones from your own community) would focus your intentions. and ironic, given your position, that in less than 100 words you have confidence to declare it’s “apparently upsetting that I prefer division” and I’m angry.

Advice, use your strategy director skills- go sit with marginalized friends or colleagues you trust and ask them their thoughts on white men, not your loaded opening question, and really hear them. I don’t think you’ll find communities making broad reactions in their lives, but you will find truth in the challenges and asks they all have for people in privilege. But whatever you do in these conversations do not say “one of my best friends is a white male” or “not all of them” - you won’t come out looking good.

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