Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries—it's the name of the game when it comes to maintaining sanity in the whirlwind of work. On another post in this bowl, I saw some examples of boundaries being set. Can you please share some practical pointers on how to enforce boundaries for a chronic people pleaser? P:S Being an EA is the worst role to be a people pleaser.

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Ok. First, start by writing down your boundaries. Then put them in order of importance. Start with your most important boundary that was crossed. Write down what was asked of you to ignore it. Why did you choose to ignore it? Here is an exercise with questions to reframe the reason you violated your boundary. (I'm assuming it's something along the lines of, he/she will be upset, he/she will _____, anything really.)

Get a journal, just paper and pen to write and save so you can see your transformation.
1. Is it true? (If the answer is "No" move to #3)
2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without the thought?

Turn the thought around.
Can you find other turnarounds?
Give genuine examples for each turnaround.

Decide if crossing the boundary is worth it. What are you compromising when this happens? Are you giving up time with family? What pieces of you are you giving away? When asked to do these things, you don't have to say yes right away. Take a beat to weigh the pros and cons.

I'll tell you what I tell the directors I support when things get rough. . .what will the company ever do for you? If you were to leave the earth, suddenly, what would the company do? Will they take care of your family for all the years they struggle to learn to adapt to the new way of things? Or will they cut the life insurance check, say their goodbyes, and replace you? When it really comes down to it, you're able to be replaced...as far as the tasks being completed. Of course, no one can replace the whole person that makes you, you. Is crossing your boundaries and putting your mental health at risk, worth it? No. It's not. No company deserves that loyalty. Your loved ones deserve that loyalty. Keep your boundaries in place so you can be the best version of yourself for your family. When it comes to you being retired, grown grandkids having their own kids, will any of your regrets be not doing a task at work that one time 22 years ago? No. If you have any regrets, it will most likely solely revolve around those you love most. Not any job you held. Unless you have to make decisions for life and death situations.

I know it's work but rewiring the thought processes is work. Understand that holding your ground will be extremely uncomfortable for a while. That's great. That means you're doing it right. After some time passes and you get used to making clear what is and isn't acceptable, you'll feel more confident and comfortable with saying no.

like

Sending you so much love and light. Your experiences have given you such a rich outlook on life. Thank you for sharing so of that with us.

like

I'm just making sure I understand what you're asking. You are asking how to enforce your boundaries with this person? Or are you trying to gather up info to help the EA set boundaries and then enforce them?

Me, the EA is me.

Related Posts

Hi all. I’m looking into potentially transitioning to PE with a background in Finance Transformation consulting @KPMG of 4yrs. Do I stand a chance? Any advice on how to best approach this would be super helpful, thanks.

like

What will be the inhand salary at tcs on 10 lpa

like

How is the WLB in Clairvoyant - an EXL company?

like

Hi Team,

Below is my salary structure can you please tell what will my in hand salary monthly?

Post Photo
like

Anyone looking for a freelance PM at an agency? Preferably in LA? I've been doing strategy brand side internationally (currently in Dublin) but moving back to LA soon. Thanks in advance!

I'm going to sleep. Good night, everyone!

like

Any copywriters (in branding/otherwise) currently report to a strategist instead of a CD? Trying to have an open mind about them approving copy without judgement but it’s like pulling teeth for me.

like

Hi Fishers
Need your expert guidance! Having 2 offers from qualitest and Capgemini for devops engineer role! JD is pretty much same in both the orgs but Qualitest is providing fixed X lpa and Capgemini is also giving fixed X.8 lpa. So which offer should I consider? Please help me here!

like

I’m an Art Director looking to make a move to LA next year. Does anyone have a list of good creative recruiters they can share with me?

like

Accenture - interviewing for Asset Management - Consultant. Coming from industry, made it onto ‘Skills Interview’ website makes it out to be an in-depth resume review. Any additional info on the process. Also, any tips moving forward in interview process, especially given industry - consulting transition. Thanks!

like
like

Need will advice. Has anyone drafted their own? Or did you work with a wills/estates lawyer? (I’m in corporate if that matters).

like
like

Sr UX Researcher / Chicago
Masters degree & 5+ YoE
Passed all Google interviews and currently finding a team. Was being considered for L4/L5. Any advice to land on L5 (Sr Researcher) and what’s a fair base & TC for L4 vs. L5? Thanks!

like

I am thinking for asking around 10 lakh ctc 🤠
I have total 1.8 years of exp
6 months internship as a business functional analyst and 1.2 year of experience as a business systems analyst -- i got ECBA certified -- I am hunting for full time functional analyst jobs.
What ctc can I ask for ? Please provide your inputs.
Also do let me know which company is providing that ctc 🙃

like

Whats the appraisal cycle period at lti and is there any mid year hike happening in 2022.

Also when do we get the bonus amount? And is it in whole or bifurcation happens ?

like

Are there any AGENCY folks at small/mid-size shops that are using CDP's? If so, how are you staffing the team and how are you integrating the CDP with your DSP's etc?

like

Hey all, I’m considering a position with KPMG’s Deal Advisory / M&A service line as an M. What are your thoughts on 1) work life balance, 2) business outlook, and 3) culture? The salary is very competitive.

like

Is there a definitive guide to cost of living? The obvious cost of living centers (SF, NYC, LA etc.) get covered a lot, but I’m wondering where my city falls. It’s a modest Midwest city with ~100k residents but is a relatively touristy spot. It often feels like a MCOL area but I’m not sure how to adequately judge that, and it would be helpful to know when comparing salaries and the like.

Additional Posts in Administrative Assistants

I’m being promoted from administrative assistant I to II. I currently make $25/hr and they haven’t given me a number yet. Not sure what I should ask for ?

I work in Nj at a pharmaceutical company and have been there for the past 4 years supporting a VP and currently at 77k a year and it’s not enough. Going to start interviewing elsewhere and want to get an idea of what starting salaries you all are at and what I should ask for. Any advice ?

like

I am looking for a new role where I can work remotely globally. I’m currently a “ministry assistant” which is essentially an executive assistant/admin/customer service rep all in one. I’d love to expand my skills and work outside my current work world (I currently work in a church). Does anyone have any leads?

like

Salary check . Please add so we can compare . Amount , City would be helpful

likehelpful

If you have to schedule multiple 1:1s between your exec and other execs, what process for scheduling do you use? Do you send individual emails to each exec’s AA/EA with availability included or do you send a mass email to all the needed AAs/EAs with availability included?

like

Hello fishes,

How do you engage your team in this pandemic time. Pls share your ideas.

Thanks 😊

like

What firms have different levels for admin? Anyone in the Twin Cities looking for admin?

like

Anyone have ideas for jobs that are a mix between administration and clinical work? I went to school for community health and have a lot of manager/patient coordinator experience under my belt, but I'm also a volunteer EMT and would like to start using those skills in my next job that I'm searching for.

Most titles I've found interesting are along the "medical assistants" role, but don't fit the bill cause I don't have an MA license

like

Wondering what the salary is for this position throughout different firms. Anyone willing to share?

like

Sr Business Support Admin needed for our firm in Denver. Good WLB / hybrid work offered. DM me for a possible referral 👍

helpful

Anyone have any suggestions on how to discuss not spending my own money on office expenses? We don't have corporate cards, yet I'm expected to purchase snacks on a constant basis for meetings.

helpfullike

Any AAs at LPL Financial? Interviewing there and want to get a sense for the company and how it really is.

like

Hey! I’m new here and would like some input. I’ve been working in a new position for almost 5 months. In that time I’ve witnessed some unethical and lots of unprofessional behavior. I’ve been yelled at and berated by my coworker 3 separate times because of minor errors. I’m ready to quit. There are so many major issues in this company that I don’t know if I want to subject my mental health to this degree of toxicity. I just don’t know how to move forward from here.

like

PART TIME JOB!!!!!!

We are seeking a talented Rental Agent to join our thriving team! The ideal candidate for this position will enjoy fast-paced work, show creativity and have a high degree of professionalism when working with our residents. The Rental Agent is responsible for creating and maintaining successful relationships with landlords and closing rental inquiries efficiently.
TASK:
-You will contacting possible tenants, sending notices and ensure proper booking of rental property.

4

like

Hi- I’m an hourly AA, been on the role for 6 months now and it’s my first AA job. I did not get a raise when I took the job because it was technically a demotion ( I was a team leader at a contact center). I assist two VPs and now they want to add a third because they’re looking for the “ 3:1 ratio “. Should I ask for a raise? Is this normal? I know another AA that handles 3+ people but idk if she’s hourly or salary. Any thoughts?

like

AA looking for a project coordinator role. Any advice for making the jump?

like

Can I get some likes please

Post Photo
likefunny

Help,I started a new career n the events industry and I think I have to quit! The person I report to is so disorganized and there are no other managers in the office to direct day to day operations of our department. On day 2 I was asked to go to a job site and perform a 12 hour day without any training, safety equipment or tools. On day 3 I was asked back to site to do general labor! I ended cutting my hand on an exacto knife and there was no first aid! Is this normal?

like

Anyone transition from healthcare to legal sector? I reached out to a recruiter because I’m looking to make that transition from healthcare administrative to a legal project coordinator. What are some transferable skills and goals I can best illustrate to recruiters and hiring managers?

like

Can anyone here give a referral?

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal