Currently at a stable Fortune 500 company , 4 years of in-house experience. Comp is $200K base, 20% bonus, and $25K in stock annually, all in a MCOL city. The quality of life is great, but my wife 2 kids and I have no real support system nearby. I now have an opportunity to move home to a HCOL city for a role at less stable company offering $180K base, 15% bonus, and $10K in annual stock. The draw is being close to family, especially our aging parents, who are all between 72–80. Thoughts?

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Is the job market good at the HCOL city? If so, the move is probably less risky than it appears. Would suck to take pay cut but can always jump to another job later. Sounds like current gig is pretty sweet though.

What is this all for if you can’t spend time with family that you cannot get back?

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Negotiate the offer as much as you can and go for it.

You can’t get the time back with family. If this new job is a giant mistake, then you find a new job in new city.

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Is there no opportunity to discuss staying but remotely working given the family dynamics? If you have enough political capital I don't think it's completely off the table

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Ugh that's gross and stupid behavior from the GC... such a waste of time....yea agree with senior IP counsel - seems like kind of a crappy work enviro even if the work situation you have is decent

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The pay cut will suck but you have to prioritize family because you can get a different job later on but you can’t get family back

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That’s a huge income hit. If you’re leaving MCOL to HCOL, you should at least be flat on comp (since the COL change will be a net loss). Can you negotiate for a change of location or remote status with your current job?

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Not ridiculous. It’ll get harder and harder to move as they get older, and you won’t get this time back with your folks.

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It’s not just the low comp that makes this a bad bet, it’s a less stable company.

Keep looking.

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This would go in the "absolutely not" discussion with my wife. If anything, have the aging parents move closer to you both.

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Her parents want her closer as well. Its both sides, and they live 10 minutes away from eachother.

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how much closer are we talking? your in house experience is still on the junior side and i would hold off at least a couple more years so that you can find a better offer with more experience under your belt

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$35k in extra comp and lower cost of living buys a bunch of plane tickets. You are jumping at the first job off you got. If it is a hcol area, there should be plenty of jobs where that one came from.

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You are absolutely right. There is a bit of T4 imposter syndrome.

Was that their initial offer, or is that what you negotiated to?

This is what I've negotiated to and the "best they can offer".

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