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I tend not to lower myself and I usually go in the other direction. I start writing emails that sound like they were composed by a Victorian gentleman who simply refuses to be discomposed. Politeness can throw people off their game. I'm also aware that some people are oddly brusque in emails, which may be a symptom of people simply never having learned how to properly engage in business correspondence.
Oh I love this strategy and do it too. It totally throws people who are spoiling for a fight and makes them look even more unhinged.
Keep an eye on it and see whether it crosses the boundaries into complete unprofessionalism. Also ensure that both your colleagues on your side and your opposing counsel (the attorneys) are cc'ed on all communications with the paralegal.
If she reaches a point where her rudeness interferes with your ability to work with opposing counsel, then you check in at the partner level at your side (assuming a partner is closely supervising your matter) and then raise the issue with your counterpart (associate level attorney) at opposing firm, cc'ing any supervising partners on your side, advising that the paralegal's communications have become an issue.
I totally agree and very well said. When I deal with rude people regardless who they are providers, adjusters or my client I always cc’d my attorney.
I always go with the "kill them with kindness" approach. Maybe they're always rude, having a bad day or something is going on in their life. In any of those situations, a little kindness could go a long way. If they are being intentionally rude, it could also irritate them to deal with someone kind ;)
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