I feel left out in my firm. How do I make 'friends' with my colleagues? I've been here for a year. I am naturally not a very out going person, was never 'cool' and I struggle to speak in group situations / make engaging conversation with higher ups. It is an important trait to have in this job and I just don't know how to do this. It makes me very upset - I even sought therapy but wasn't useful. I can't spend 14 hours each day feeling like this:(

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

It’s ok to be an introvert. You have a lot of other strengths. But try taking small steps. One good conversation a week. Then two. Etc etc

Start with 1 on 1. Then after 3 months you will be comfortable doing groups

likehelpful

Read the book “I’m Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want to Come.” The author had similar challenges as you and shares some really great strategies to better engage with others at work, at parties, etc. Its an easy, fun read.

likehelpful

Is being friends with your colleagues really that important? I mean, I get that networking plays an important role in this industry, but you don't have be BFFs with your coworkers if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Maybe start by focusing on public speaking. Take a speech course or join Toast Masters. Overcoming that hurdle may subsequently help you get over your social anxiety as well. Good luck!

It's totally fine to be an introvert, as EM said! You don't need to be BFF's with your coworkers - meet friends through MeetUp or other groups that you actually have something in common with.

Find friends outside of work. This is a dog eats dog world and colleagues are rarely real friends. Networking is a different thing and surprisingly also very transactional when doing it internally. People don’t care about you unless you’re bringing them business. It’s a little better externally.

One thing I found incredibly helpful is to find commonalities between coworkers you want to be closer with. Things like being from the same city / state, being introverted, both like a similar brand. When you establish that common point of connection you find it a lot easier to strike up conversation.

Related Posts

Thoughts on / reputation surrounding Purple Strategies?

like

How is health and insurance sector at Accenture? Do they have good projects?

like

Anyone working with Agoda as an Analyst? I have my interview scheduled in the coming week.
It would be great if anyone can help me with their experience.
Thanks

like

It's been 3 months since I secretly canceled my wife's peloton membership and she still hasn't noticed

funnylike

Quick poll: Do you post your headshot on the firm website? Yes or no - if no, why not?

like

I have a situation here. I got a suv 3 years ago, last week the suv broke down. I took it to the shop and they said the engine is no good. I owe 6 grand. What should I do in this situation? Stop paying on it? Get new car? HELP PLEASE

like

Working as a hotel maid isn't bad but my husband wanted to surprise me with a romantic getaway and I just feel like I'm at work, he told me I don't need to make the bed but it's so hard to relax with it like this! hahah

like

How can we enroll for TCS Elevate Wings Leadership programs? Didn't found any offerings in iEvolve.

like

If a posting does not ask for a cover letter, should I include one anyway?

like

Can anyone tell me how long it takes to receive the offer letter after this mail?

Post Photo

Why does Capgemini not give work equally to everyone?I have worked in Python in Capgemini but now they stopped assigning work and getting less calls while switching.I know all concepts of Python and coding and some concepts of flask and Django but when I applied few startups conduct tough coding round and rejected rare MNCs are calling so if I resign will I get job or it can be risky.Because I don't know how much company will accept with 3 years experience though I worked only 2year in Python.

like

Super niche fields—- I’m a solo and I’m always interested in researching super niche fields to add to my offerings, which is currently mostly a transactional business practice. Example- I know a Employment attorneys who focus on specific claims against specific employers, and others who focus on really limited aspects of the tax code. What are your super niche fields?

like

Are we allowed to travel from out of province to Vancouver for the holiday break? How rigid are the lockdown restrictions in B.C. right now?

like

How much you should be making for for senior product manager in Bay Area ??

like

Welcome to all my fellow travelers. Travel is a great way to open your eyes to the world we live in. To experience new cultures & customs & embrace diversity in our world which makes being human so special. Due to Covid travel has been definitely not a priority for most people. As travel changes in our society due to borders opening and technology let's discuss and share on the experience so we can adjust to our new world and prepare for a safer experience which could be inspiring-

Have completed my 2 technical rounds on last Monday...Post to that recruiter confirmed that I got positive feedback and going to schedule a Managerial round..But still he didn't schedule the round to proceed furter. ANY IDEA ON HOW LONG IT WILL TAKE FOR RECRUITER TO SCHEULE A MANAGERIAL ROUND.

like

Is anyone here a pharmacy technician for Adventhealth in Florida?

likesmart

what is the best big 4 for work life balance?

It sucks to be this stressed and tired but so close to my bed because I am wfh. 😫

likefunny

Anyone know of any tools that can scrub user comments from a paid Facebook ad (via preview link or other) into an Excel or csv? Please and thank you!

like

Additional Posts in Private Equity and the Buy Side

Anyone heard of Legatum? Investment fund based in Dubai. What have you heard? Good place to go? Thank you!

like

Would love any thoughts on my current situation. Worked 1 year at a T2 firm (EYP, OW, S&) and make the transition over to MBB 3 months ago.

While recruiting for MBB I was also doing off cycle GE recruiting. The process dropped off and resumed just a couple weeks ago and I’ve received an offer for this summer. Wondering if leaving after 6-8 months in MBB is too short or if I should just take the offer and run w it.

Thanks in advance.

like

Have a first round interview with the VP of Talent Management at a PE fund tomorrow. What kind of questions should I expect? Would it be more technical or more focused on discussing my background and interest in PE and the firm? TIA!

like

I’ve been getting recruiting emails from PE HH firms for immediate start, but I would like to stay at McK at least until end of this year (I recently started here and am just not prepared on technicals yet). When does the official on-cycle recruiting start, and when would be the earliest start date in 2023?

like

Are there any ways to determine AI/Data Science investments or current resources at a F500 company (Through public means - 10k, etc)

like

How intense of a model should I be expecting for a growth stage firm’s modeling test (think ICONIQ, Spectrum, Summit)?

Should I be preparing to make one from scratch? Have no idea what to expect and their instructions are incredibly vague

like

What do you all make and yoe? PE associate. 1.5 banking, 2 in PE. 125 base. 165 bonus. No carry yet. Curious what your numbers are?

likehelpful

I am 23 YO, just graduated undergrad from a non-target school, and am currently working in tech consulting for a B4 firm. My long term goal is to land a technology operations job with a large PE fund.

What steps should I be taking now to make this goal more feasible? What types of exposure should I be looking to gain?

Also, I wouldn’t mind going back to b school if that’s what it will take to get in the door.

Thanks in advance!

like

Thoughts on Marblegate Asset Management?

like

Leaving MBB after ~18 months to join a MM GE fund as an associate on the deal team. I’m seeing some people leave MBB after ~3/4 years join PE Ops with higher comp ($400-600k+). Does Ops comp surpass deal team if you’re leaving from MBB instead of banking?

like

Very 1st interview with PwC M&A, transaction services tomorrow - any tips!?🙏🙏

like

Possible to go from 2-3 years MM PE at the associate level to MBA program to mega fund PE? I am at an MBB, but don’t have banking experience, by the way

like

I’m a junior associate in the PE group at a law firm in the Bay Area. I need to spend my quite generous business development budget before I lose it at the end of the year. Any junior PE associates wanna grab a nice casual dinner (no vegans please…)? I’m in Silicon Valley but can travel to the city. DM me if interested. ✌️

likehelpful

Just got my first PE Ops offer, and was wondering if you fish could help me evaluate it:

Me: M7 MBA, 8 YOE, including in industry operations and T2 strategy consulting

Them: MM PE buyout fund, no specific industry focus. Most recent fund $2.5B+, AUM $5B+

Role: VP of Operations, joining an Ops team that will be ~10 people total top to bottom

Offer: $200 base, $150 bonus, and ‘carry’ that is actually just a deal performance-based cash payment that is awarded to non-carry individuals (cont)

like

Boston PE Fund Ranks/Tiers - anyone have good color/updated view on landscape

like

Thoughts on Nautic in RI? Comp, hours, etc.

like

How hard is it to get carry and/or make partner at a PE firm? Does it pay more than MBB at non-partner levels?

like

For those of you that got into PE from consulting: is it what you thought it was? Do you have any regrets?

like

Anyone go from PE Ops to tech s&o?

like

Anyone works at PJT Park Hill PE? Would love to have a short phone call to know more about the company if possible. Thank you so much for your help!

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal