I feel like I’m rubbing people the wrong way at work just by asking for feedback on how I’m doing. They seem avoidant or just tell me nice things. Nothing straight forward or actionable. I want the good, the bad, and the ugly. My skin is thick and I want to get better. Any advice?

Something I’ve learned in my experience: When you ask a really open ended question like “can you give me feedback on how I’m doing?” you’re making the other person do the leg work. They’re much more likely to give you an answer when you specify to an area like, “how can I improve my presentation skills, in what ways could my writing be stronger, where do you see room for improvement”etc. it becomes much easier for the other person to answer a specific question rather than trying to figure out what you’re actually asking. Plus when they see you’ve put in the work to ask a smart question they’ll give you a smart answer.

You’re asking people to invest time and attention into you… things we don’t have as much of as scopes get cut. For people to really think concretely takes effort.

Feedback is a gift, and I would be more concentrated and ask a very select FEW via email to give them a chance to think about.

They won't tell you the truth! if you feel it, smthn's up - ur gut never lies

It’s *work* to give good feedback. It typically would include advice, recommendations, re-directs, suggestions. All of them require the person’s brain power, knowledge, experience, time, energy.

If you’re asking people to do this for you frequently, or if you ask people who don’t “owe” you this as part of their job, it is annoying.

I never ask for feedback without complimenting or priming the person I’m asking. Even if it’s just a “I’m working on my application of this work, but I could use your deep understanding of the brand/industry/digital to achieve this. I’ve already done x,y & z, so I think you will have some insightful thoughts I could really use”

If you’re asking people to evaluate how you’re doing, you clearly value yourself and your work. That’s good. Where this could improve, is adding some words to your ask to make them also feel valued and important for giving feedback too. Not saying you didn’t intend for that, just saying this is also part of the job and what we sometimes have to “fake” too. We have to make people feel good enough to do all this work, because this work isn’t very meaningful compared to all the people out there feeding, caring, and supporting real lives. We have to work extra to provide meaning in our lives and our managers lives too. This is advertising 😅 and it’s a very disrespected industry for a reason. We do make it better with good communication though.

I’ve gotten such incredible and detailed feedback from people that I’ve spent time getting to know, asking how they’re as good as they are…you know, good feedback is kinda like giving away your secrets. I’m not giving my secrets I spent so long and hard working to someone who just asks. But if they acknowledge I really have the answers cuz I did the work, then I think you did the work too to recieve my feedback on my own time.

I don’t know how you’ve been asking, but just consider some of this to help you out!

Remind yourself that juniors want to work more than literally everyone else in this industry. Everyone else is working towards their developed needs, you’re working towards your career because it’s newly started. Keep going, you’re doing great already by getting to this point here.

Good luck out there friend! You got this.

Maybe you’re irritating them? Talk to your boss.

This is a great question. In my experience, managers understood we were underpaid, overworked, and clearly hanging on by a thread. It was pulling teeth to get authentic actionable feedback.
I think it'd be helpful to set up a more formal meeting where you communicate that you're serious about honest feedback. Contextualizing it as midway through a workstream or as a post-mortem would help as well.
It doesn't hurt to take an interest in the way they work, kinda come to them as if they're a mentor-figure. A recent example: "Hey, I really admire how you make clients clarify feedback before letting them move on. I worry that I'm holding up meetings when I ask questions. How do you decide when it's appropriate?"

Are you asking a variety of people or just your manager? I’d say hone in on 1 or 2 people whom you look up to (manager, mentor, etc) and keep that chain of communication open so they know what you’re working on and they can speak to your progress over time.

The best way to get good feedback as to ask the right people the right questions, with the right attitude. Tips:

1. Figure out what feedback you’re looking for and who can actually give that. If it’s general performance feedback, your boss is the best one to provide this on a holistic level. If you want specific work crit, try senior copy folks. If you want to know how to work better with a partner, talk to your partner or an AD.

2. Ask if you can have feedback before you ask for the feedback. Giving feedback takes time and energy, so start by asking if someone would be willing. Then, make it easy for them by coming prepared with specific and actionable questions. Try not to ambush people, they might have other stuff going on.

3. Be able to take it, even if the answer is “I have no feedback.” Say thank you no matter what. Feedback is help. When you receive help, even if it’s not what you wanted or envisioned, receive it gracefully.

Ask your line manager, they should be able to do a quick round of feedback from colleagues

Asking for feedback is very valuable it means you want to grow. Dont let these lames make you feel weird about that.