I have a 9yo daughter in Gr 3 in a co-ed catholic school with 30kids in her class. She transferred to this school in Gr 1. I haven’t been great at doing playdates since she started at the school but recently noticed that she’s on her own at recess. Her teachers in 1st & 2nd have said she’s a floater. I’ve seen her exclude herself or not know how to approach a group. I’m concerned but dad thinks she’ll figure this out by herself. Should I speak with the teacher or other parents? School counselor?

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My daughter is still not there yet, but if I were in your shoes, I would try and make friends with some of the moms who have kids her age and organize play dates. At least do it a few times and see who she gets along with. You might make a new friend in the process. Also encourage her to join sports or clubs or group activities. She’s bound to find a friend or two who share the same interests.

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I would work on teaching HER skills to approach friend groups (maybe using a therapist if you struggled with it, too) rather than trying to make friends on her behalf.

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Reaching out to your school counselor or school psychologist are good options. They should be able to push into the classroom and create some small groups during the day for her to learn how to play and interact with that could translate to lunch and recess.

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I wasn’t great at making friends and have social anxiety so it’s hard for me to know what to do next. My heart hurts for her, she’s said she’s lonely. She’s typically outgoing with folks she’s known all her life and this behavior surprises them, she tends to do better 1-on-1.

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