I want to be a good manager but I kind of suck at it. I try to be nice to everyone but I get irritated so easily because I constantly feel like people are trying to find issues with what I do. Most times it’s minimal and has no effect on the quality or outcomes.

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I think this can be really hard as a manager and definitely harder when we get to a deadline. I’ve been there A LOT.
A couple of things that help me:
1) on a project, take the time to create a plan and set up your employees for success. I like Microsoft planner a lot but it doesn’t need to be fancy, a list of tasks works too!
2) when someone asks a question, pause before you respond and take a breath to think about what they said. Think about how they could be right. Try to see how they came up with the question. If you’re not seeing how they got there, ask them about their thought process or why it’s holding them up. What do they think could be done better?
3) whenever possible, point them to a resource that backs up why you chose your route they’re questioning. If you can’t point to the perfect resource, it’s a great opportunity to empower your employee to create said resource!
4) give quality feedback continuously. If someone is asking a question - let them know when you think their question is good and why you think it’s a good question. Appreciate the good. Questioning things helps create a better product and a better end result. Building their confidence can help them feel better about what they’re doing and need less guidance when they’re capable.
5) sometimes it’s easier to be positively responsive when we have a set aside focus time vs discussion time. Try to schedule the discussion times and times for questions when possible.
6) ask your employees to group their questions as much as possible… obviously they don’t need to get stuck on something, but them trying to move on to something else and gathering questions on other tasks and going through it all at once can help.

Hope this helps! Remember management is a skill. We’re all working on it and trying to get better. Keep it up!

likehelpful

I really could use help with #2

Could it be that the people around you are threatened by you? I know people have found falts with me when I've had the courage to speak my mind and be authentic. The way I dealt with it was by being okay with not being liked/not being the nice manager.

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Potentially. It’s really hard to say because I’m not perfect either but sometimes I just can’t help but notice that I’m the only person receiving the type of feedback I’m getting.

Ever thought about moving into an IC role then? Plenty of jobs to do where you don’t manage a team.

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